Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years many young generation frequently
change
their occupation. There are both pros and cons of
this
growing trend which will be discussed
further
in the following paragraphs before providing a personal comprehensive conclusion. I would claim
to
Change preposition
that changing
show examples
change
jobs
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
advantageous than drawbacks. On the one hand, there are numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
upsides which will consider of changing career among young
people
over the period. First and foremost,
aspect
Correct article usage
the aspect
show examples
of skill development since many
people
become different
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
for achieving
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to achieve
show examples
more life skills in several choice
filed
Correct your spelling
fields
show examples
, and want to find
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
which great lots of
job
opportunities for
generation
Add an article
a generation
the generation
show examples
which came from university or colleges within good financial stability.
For instance
, by changing knowledge , they can establish
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
which
collected
Add a missing verb
are collected
show examples
by different careers.
Additionally
,
switching
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by switching
show examples
jobs, young
people
may get rid of in high-stress environments, reducing the risk
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
burnout and keeping their motivation high.
As well as
,
job
transforming
Replace the word
transformation
show examples
,
people
comprehend various
of
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apply
show examples
industries which can make them more versatile and capable of working in interdisciplinary fields.
On the other hand
, there are kind of downsides
which
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in which
show examples
adults
change
their first
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
to another one regularly.
Firstly
, lack of interest first choosing
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
because most
of
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apply
show examples
people
go the university or
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
by
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because
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
ambition. Most of the parents said"
you
Capitalize word
You
show examples
should like
this
academy because of high-salary " do not look
children's
Unnecessary verb
children
show examples
themselves.
Furthermore
, perception of disloyalty, employers might view frequent
job
changes as a lack of commitment which could affect a young person's reputation. As an illustration,
this
notion has been proven by the recent research that was carried out by scientists
of
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at
show examples
California State University. They
conducted
Verb problem
found
show examples
that many Australian adults
changes
Change the verb form
change
show examples
their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of
fascinating
Replace the word
fascination
show examples
as well as
low-level financial sides mainly
people
of
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apply
show examples
20 - 25 years old . In conclusion, even though young
people
change
their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
day by day with some benefits like life development and
for
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apply
show examples
releasing anxiety among
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
knowledgeable colleagues, the other viewpoint which emphasizes
parent's
Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
show examples
willing
Replace the word
willingness
show examples
as well as
financial insecurity should not be overlooked.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph develops a single, clear idea to improve logical structure. You currently have a mix of ideas that can be separated to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced view by evenly discussing both the advantages and disadvantages in the essay. Currently, there is more emphasis on the advantages.
task achievement
Use varied examples to further illustrate your main points and reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which effectively frames the essay and its arguments.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the arguments made, giving it more depth.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally well-supported, with useful examples to illustrate the arguments.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic workplace
  • job-hopping
  • job opportunities
  • technological advancements
  • job market
  • job satisfaction
  • work-life balance
  • higher salaries
  • career progression
  • diverse skill set
  • work cultures
  • professional asset
  • stability
  • commitment
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