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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past?

#parts #world #families #people #children #part
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With the passage of time, a huge number of aspects of human
life
Use synonyms
 have changed: from thoughts to the means of production of public goods. Of course, the changes have not spared the
way
Use synonyms
 groups of
people
Use synonyms
 coexist together. Previously,
everyone
Use synonyms
 lived in friendly
villages
Use synonyms
 where
everyone
Use synonyms
 knew everything about
everyone
Use synonyms
, but now
people
Use synonyms
 are based mainly in big
cities
Use synonyms
 where sometimes you think about the wrong thing. how to find out everything and about
everyone
Use synonyms
, and how not to forget about everything and about
everyone
Use synonyms
. But despite
such
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 changes,
villages
Use synonyms
 and megacities continue to coexist with each other at the same time, and
therefore
Linking Words
everyone
Use synonyms
 begins to think about
himself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
, and which
way
Use synonyms
 of organizing the
life
Use synonyms
 of the population is preferable to him - a
village
Use synonyms
 or a megalopolis
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will outline the pros and cons of
villages
Use synonyms
 that I think are important for solving
such
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 an issue.
First,
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it is worth mentioning probably the disadvantages of
villages
Use synonyms
, which come to mind quite quickly when you think about
such
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 a social
way
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 of
life
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in comparison with a megalopolis or even a city, the
village
Use synonyms
 has much fewer opportunities for career growth and for obtaining the maximum number of all kinds of services and goods
due to
Linking Words
 the banal colossal difference in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 - there are few
people
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 in the
village
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, the services provided, jobs and other things will be much less than in
cities
Use synonyms
. I would
also
Linking Words
 like to add that
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of
people
Use synonyms
 and
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
, all those sectors of human
life
Use synonyms
 that are best developed in
cities
Use synonyms
 suffer. Infrastructure, healthcare, education, telecommunications, yes, I will get tired of listing all the things that a
village
Use synonyms
 can only dream of having at the same level as
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the city.
In addition
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, we must not forget that
villages
Use synonyms
 live completely differently from
cities
Use synonyms
, there is a completely different
way
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
, other customs and so on and so on. The same confidentiality and preservation of personal boundaries in the
village
Use synonyms
, which are important to many
people
Use synonyms
 today, are denied there as a concept and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 it may come to the point that some kind of accident or misconduct of one person, spreading a
rumor
Change the spelling
rumour
show examples
 throughout the
village
Use synonyms
, can lead to the most terrible consequences for both the person himself and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
for his inner circle. It is
also
Linking Words
 worth adding that in
villages
Use synonyms
, things are much worse with the protection of citizens' lives than in
cities
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, and
therefore
Linking Words
, in any encounter with violators of the law, honest citizens risk almost everything, because no one can protect them in the same
way
Use synonyms
 as they would do in the city.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This helps guide the reader and makes your argument more focused and coherent.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop a more explicit conclusion that summarizes your argument and clearly states your personal stance on the topic. This will help strengthen the overall cohesion of your essay.
Task Achievement
Include specific examples to support the points you make about the advantages and disadvantages of living in a village. Examples make your argument more convincing.
Task Achievement
The essay discusses various aspects of village life compared to city life, showing an understanding of different living environments.
Task Achievement
The essay identifies multiple disadvantages of village life, which adds depth to the discussion and shows critical thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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