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Writing Samples
Band 5

Directors’ large organisations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees. Some people think it is necessary, but others believe that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#directors’ #organisations #salaries #employees #people
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Companies must carefully consider
fair
Correct article usage
a fair
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salary
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 structure for all
employees
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.
While
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 some people argue that it is unfair if the
directors
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 get higher
salaries
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 than new
employees
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, I side with those who feel that the
executive
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 leader should have earned a higher
salary
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.
Firstly
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, the
executive
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 leader's position requires high
qualifications
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. It is well-known that
directors
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 usually need to meet
the
Correct article usage
apply
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specific requirements,
such
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 as 5 years of experience in
senior
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a senior
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 operational role and passing
competency
Correct article usage
a competency
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 assessment to become
directors
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 in the
company
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.
Furthermore
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,
director
Fix the agreement mistake
directors
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 carry high-risk
responsivities
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responsibilities
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,
such
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 as creating strategies to ensure the
Use synonyms
company
Change noun form
company's
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 sustainability.
For
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this
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 reason, it seems reasonable for
directors
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 to receive high
salaries
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 to match their
qualifications
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 and responsibilities.
Therefore
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, the
company
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 should consider high
salaries
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 for
executive
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 leaders’ positions because of their
qualifications
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.
On the other hand
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, some new
employees
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 may
also
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 bring relevant experience and hold significant responsibilities within the
company
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.
For example
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, managers and other operational leaders play critical roles that contribute directly to the
company
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's success.
Therefore
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, they may deserve competitive
salaries
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 as well. Companies should aim for fairness by considering a
salary
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 structure that reflects each employee's role and responsibilities.
This
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 approach would ensure that
employees
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 in crucial positions, even if not
executive
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 level, are compensated appropriately. In conclusion,
while
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executive
Use synonyms
 leaders need to pay a high
salary
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 due
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 competency and
qualifications
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, companies should
also
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 consider the importance of fair compensation for
employees
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 with valuable skills.
Therefore
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, on balance, I remain firmly convinced that the
executive
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 leader should earn a high
salary
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.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Provide a more specific example for the roles and responsibilities of directors or new employees to illustrate your points more effectively.
task achievement
Try to balance the discussion a bit more by elaborating equally on both views to strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transition between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Consistently logical structure helps the argument progress effectively.
task achievement
The main points are supported with reasonable examples and explanations, making the argument convincing.
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