The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#percentage #participation #women #management #three #companies #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The table describes the percentage of women in senior management in

Eldan

Ltd

Bamforth

Ltd

, and

Finsbruy

Correct your spelling

Finsbury

Ltd

from 1975 to 2015. In 1975,

Eldan

Ltd

had the lowest number of women representation in the company, at just 3%,

while

Bamforth

Ltd

and Finsbury

Ltd

had each 9% and 16% respectively. Over the following decades, all three companies showed a significant growth in female participation. By 1985,

Eldan

Ltd

had a notable increase reaching

Change preposition

apply

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14%,

while

both Finsbury

Ltd

and

Bamforth

Ltd

saw a slight increase, 15% and 13% respectively. The trend continues with

Eldan

Ltd

, being the lowest at

first,

experiencing

a the

Choose an article

the

show examples

most significant growth, reaching 64% by 2015.

Bamforth

Ltd

also

demonstrated

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apply

show examples

substantial progress, climbing to 46%.

While

on the other hand

, Finsbury

Ltd

, despite an increase, fell behind at 26%

Overall

, the data indicates a positive shift to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

greater gender equality in senior management positions over the four decades, particularly for

ELdan

Ltd

and

Bamforth

Ltd

, definitely helping the efforts to improve female representation in key leadership roles.

Submitted by russel.nissi8 on Thu Nov 14 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words eldan, ltd, bamforth with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

175 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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