IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The provided table depicts the percentage of several
activities
Use synonyms
 chosen by
unemployed
Correct article usage
the unemployed
show examples
 in the UK
last
Linking Words
 year
break
Wrong verb form
broken
show examples
 down by gender (
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
) and time (in the morning and afternoon)
Overall
Linking Words
, some
activities
Use synonyms
 were more popular than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other; housework, shopping, and job hunting as the most favoured, and the least one was drinking. Housework activity, the most frequent activity, accounted
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 49% and 19%
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 respectively in the morning. Shopping
also
Linking Words
 had the same pattern where the
women
Use synonyms
 had more percentage than
men
Use synonyms
 either in the morning or the afternoon.
However
Linking Words
, more
men
Use synonyms
 did job hunting than
women
Use synonyms
 by 6% difference in the morning, As the lowest three
activities
Use synonyms
, visiting town was at 8% for
men
Use synonyms
 and 11% for
women
Use synonyms
 regardless of the time. followed by playing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 at 8% and 1% for
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 each.
Finally
Linking Words
, drinking, which was the most unfavoured
Use synonyms
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
, only had 5% for
men
Use synonyms
 and 2% for the other.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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