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Band 5

The best way to make the road transport of goods safer is to ask drivers to take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#road #transport #goods #drivers #test #year
Annual tests for drivers might be an ideal method to address the issues related to road
traffic
 safety. To some extent,
while
 I accept that
this
 perception is somewhat justifiable, I believe that
this
 would not be a good idea to avoid
traffic
 accidents. On the one hand,
this
 approach could play a vital role in decreasing
traffic
 collisions and enhancing the quality of drivers.
Better
Add an article
A better
show examples
 understanding of the new
traffic
 regulations implemented every year might make each individual abide strictly.
Therefore
, residents will stop instigating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minors to engage in
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and controlling personal vehicles.
This
 might decrease noticeably cases related to motor racing, exceeding
speed
Add an article
the speed
show examples
 limit, and crossing the red light caused by
people
 who are under 18 years old. From that onwards, there will not be any incidents, which are similar to the recent one that occurred in Hanoi, Vietnam. Specifically, a crowd of teenagers drove motorcycles at excessive speed, causing a deafening crash which claimed the death of a young woman.
On the other hand
, I hold the opinion that organizing the driving test annually can lead to an overloaded testing system and a waste of resources.
This
 makes the testing procedure become more lengthy, money-wasting, and time-consuming. There are more than eight billion
people
 around the world so it is impossible to test all exam participants, and control the quality of the test. If
this
 happens, a driving training center workforce of
millions
Add the preposition
millions of
show examples
people
 will have to work overtime and the process of road exam registry management will be delayed unavoidably. In Vietnam, there is a large number of
people
 commuting daily and that would be challenging if Vietnamese
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 take
this
 method into account.
Hence
, its residents will become dissatisfied and lose their trust in the government. In conclusion,
although
 I admit that the aforementioned method could role
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 prevention of
traffic
 accidents and raise drivers’ awareness about
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 carefully, my view is that
this
 is not an effective way to improve
traffic
Add an article
the traffic
show examples
 situation in a long
terms
Correct the article-noun agreement
term
show examples
due to
 a limited exam system and
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
overconsumption of expenses and time.
Submitted by n.thach.tu.a2 on

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clarity
Your arguments and ideas could be further refined to improve clarity. Try to ensure each point is clearly linked back to the central argument for better comprehension.
task response
While addressing the prompt well, consider including a counterargument to provide a more balanced view and strengthen your position.
task response
You have effectively used relevant examples to illustrate your points, such as the example from Hanoi, Vietnam.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. This helps in guiding the reader through your argumentation smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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