The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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The bar charts depict the proportion of employment aged 60-64 in both genders in four nations in 1970 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
man
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
percentages showed a decrease in all countries with Belgium
recorded
Wrong verb form
recording
show examples
the largest
dropped
Replace the word
drop
show examples
, meanwhile in the graph for women, the USA and Australia recorded a slight increase,
while
Linking Words
the remaining two countries declined insignificantly. Looking in more detail, in 1970, the
percentage
Use synonyms
of
man
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
workers at the age between 60 and 64 years old in Japan highlighted the largest proportion at 84 per cent,
although
Linking Words
in 2000,
this
Linking Words
number dropped to 76%. With the same trend from 73% to 55%, the USA exhibited a decline, followed by Australia with nearly 30% dropping.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, Belgium decreased half of the initial
percentage
Use synonyms
, showing the smallest
percentage
Use synonyms
in
this
Linking Words
graph.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
the total number of female workers
lower
Add a missing verb
is lower
show examples
than male workers, the
percentage
Use synonyms
changed slightly in all nations. Similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the graph for men, Japan
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
the proportion in both years with 43% in 1970 and 40% in 2000.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
the same period, The USA increased modesty from 36% to 38%, trailed by Australia with
an
Change the article
a
show examples
1% increase. In the least number placed by Belgium with less than 10% in both years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment rate
  • Percentage
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Fluctuation
  • Gender disparity
  • Trend
  • Decline
  • Improvement
  • Variation
  • Noteworthy
  • Aligned
  • Comparative analysis
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