IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that managers are responsible for the company's success, while others think various features of the organization play vital role in it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #managers #company #success #features #organization #role
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The ongoing debate regarding whether high-ranking executives are the primary drivers of a company's success or if other factors hold greater significance remains a subject of considerable contention. Some argue that executives are essential to an organization's success, as they are responsible for setting objectives, efficiently managing labour, and cultivating a supportive organizational culture.
On the other hand
, others assert that a company’s performance is largely shaped by external factors,
such
 as market dynamics, intense competition, and employee satisfaction.
This
 essay will explore both perspectives and provide a personal evaluation.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Consider elaborating on specific examples or case studies to support your arguments. For instance, discussing a successful company led by visionary managers or an example of a business impacted by external factors like competition or market regulations would make your essay more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a balanced discussion of both perspectives by dedicating equal attention to each viewpoint. This will provide a more comprehensive evaluation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider concluding your essay with a clear statement reaffirming your personal stance on the issue. This will help in bringing a strong closure to your argument and align with a logical structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion by stating the topic and outlining the two main perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains a well-structured logical flow, successfully presenting both sides of the debate.
Task Achievement
The ideas are presented clearly and comprehensively, indicating a solid understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • management
  • vision
  • direction
  • decision-making
  • resource allocation
  • leadership
  • inspire
  • retain talent
  • innovation
  • commitment
  • organizational features
  • market conditions
  • competitive strategies
  • technological advancements
  • company culture
  • employee satisfaction
  • operational efficiency
  • brand reputation
  • research and development
  • customer service
  • performance
  • adapt
  • embrace change
  • structural flexibility
  • strategic flexibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: