Some people think that the young people should be free to choose their job, but other people think that they should be realist and think more about their future.Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

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The debate over whether young
people
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should be free or not to choose their
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career
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careers
show examples
has reflected two different viewpoints. Some
people
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argue that they should
free
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be free
show examples
to pursue what they want,
while
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others claim that young
people
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should focus on the realistic side of
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job
Correct pronoun usage
their job
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future. In my opinion, I believe that choosing a
job
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we like and weighing its future value are
both
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significant for a person's
career
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. Choosing a
job
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freely with self
preferance
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preference
gives youngsters
the
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apply
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flexibility in their
career
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, and at the same time, makes them enjoy
in
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apply
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their
work
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. Engaging in a
job
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we like plays a vital role in working
sustainbility
Correct your spelling
sustainability
and productivity. Some
people
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believe that young
people
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should be able to chase their dreams freely to gain
the
Correct article usage
a
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sense of
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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, as the
job
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is enjoyable for them, they are more likely to strive for success.
On the contrary
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, if they cannot
work
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in the field they want, it might drive them to depression, potentially leading to a
career
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crisis.
Therefore
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, young
people
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should be encouraged to pursue their
interest
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interests
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and find passion in their
job
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.
On the other hand
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, another group of
people
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assert that young
people
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should be
realist
Replace the word
realistic
show examples
and take more consequences into account.
Firstly
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, salary is the most important element of
work
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, as it defines the life quality we get. Young
people
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should prioritize their income situation rather than their own passion
toward
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for
show examples
a
job
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,
while
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choosing a
high profit
Add a hyphen
high-profit
show examples
job
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can make our lives more stable.
Moreover
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, the future of a
job
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is
also
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a crucial part of choosing
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career
Add an article
a career
show examples
.
Therefore
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, young
people
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should stress on evaluating the prospect of a profession before making their decision. From my
perpesctive
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perspective
, I believe that youngsters should be free and
realist
Replace the word
realistic
show examples
on
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in
show examples
choosing their jobs because
this
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balanced approach can efficiently help them to
work
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with a positive emotion, and at the same time, receive a stable salary to cover their life expenses. More importantly, young
people
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should take
both
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sides of advice into consideration and
then
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decide which
job
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is the most suitable for them. In conclusion, some
people
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advocate for choosing jobs freely, and others highlight the realistic side of
work
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. I believe
both
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viewpoints offer significant
values
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value
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for young
people
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on their
career
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options. Youngsters should employ
both
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ways
on
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in
show examples
their
job
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choices, and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
they can find a
job
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which is enjoyable materially and emotionally.
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. This will enhance the depth of your essay and illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Work on diversifying the use of transition words and phrases to create smoother links between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view of the argument, acknowledging both viewpoints and effectively integrating them into the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas is clear, with an introduction, discussion of both viewpoints, and a conclusion that synthesizes the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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