The charts below show the percentage of male and female workers in three employment positions in two countries in 2007.

#show #percentage #workers #three #employment #positions #two #countries

The pie charts demonstrate two sexual workers in percentages in three employment positions in two parts of the world in 2007.

Overall

, the amount of Industry triples higher in

from A .

Change preposition

show examples

the time, the extent of

services

is significantly greater in female jobholders in state

than in sector A .

Services

measurement is 9 % higher than 56% in

man

Correct your spelling

male

show examples

employees in nation

than the same one in A.

While

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

agriculture's extent is 26% more than

men

Change noun form

men's

show examples

portion 3 %. But in sector industry

male countryside has 32 % which is more by 17% than male province A.

Services

' measurement is the same

while

, the female labourers in Kingdom A's agriculture is more than 42 % from female assistants in part

in 1%.The A's industry percentage is 8% which is lower than the 3% of the

. By

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

way of conclusion, the visible portions are in mainly

services

and

male

Correct article usage

the male

show examples

ones are in agriculture.

Submitted by Writing9 on Fri Nov 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words b, services with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

165 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Numerous people say that the government should spend the budget to support private schools. Due to this, it will help develop the education system. In my opinion, they should not be funded by public money, private schools already have high profits from school tuition and private academies are businesses created to seek profit like other businesses.
6.5
band
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your opinion
Manufacturers and supermarkets have a significant role to play in reducing packaging waste. However, some argue that it is the customers' responsibility to avoid buying goods with excessive packaging. This essay will discuss both views and present my opinion.
5.5
band
The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent lexical in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming only language to be spoken globally. Advantages and disadvantages?
Tourism is developing which gives stong contributions to English as the only predominant language worldwide, resulting to English as the only language used all over the world. There are some benefits and drawbacks to this application which will be discussed further in the upcoming paragraphs.
5.5
band
in their advertising bsinesses nowadays ususally emphasise that their products are new in some way. whay is this ? do you think it is a positife or negative development?
In this contemporary era, because of technological advancement, the marketing management field is playing a significant role in the market. The companies are always underscoring that their goods and products are the latest in a certain way. In this essay, my standpoint is that it can cause negative development for consumers and society.
5.5
band
As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that car users should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The neuroscience is clear: Our brains are capable of processing only a fraction of the information available to them, and we have a fixed amount of mental energy at our disposal, regardless of how much we want or need in any given moment. Consequently, our brains use as little mental energy as possible whenever possible. It isn’t laziness — it’s fuel efficiency.

The charts below show the percentage of male and female workers in three employment positions in two countries in 2007.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent lexical in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming only language to be spoken globally. Advantages and disadvantages?

in their advertising bsinesses nowadays ususally emphasise that their products are new in some way. whay is this ? do you think it is a positife or negative development?

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that car users should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.