IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The three pie charts illustrate how many hours in a British university library are spent by undergraduates and postgraduates compared to other students.

The three pie charts illustrate how many hours in a British university library are spent by undergraduates and postgraduates compared to other students.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The three pie charts
demonstrates
Change the verb form
demonstrate
show examples
 the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of time undergraduates and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 spend in the
library
Use synonyms
 in comparison to other
students
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most time spent by postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 is the highest among other groups.
While
Linking Words
 the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of undergraduate and all
students
Use synonyms
 remains almost the same with only
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
show examples
 of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the
students
Use synonyms
 who spend 1-7
hours
Use synonyms
 in the
library
Use synonyms
 is highest for undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
 which is
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 63%. The other
students
Use synonyms
 category
also
Linking Words
 spend
almpst
Correct your spelling
almost
 the same
hours
Use synonyms
 in the
library
Use synonyms
, with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of 50%.
While
Linking Words
 the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 who spend
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 07
hours
Use synonyms
 is only 17%. The postgraduates spend more than 15
hours
Use synonyms
 in
rhe
Correct your spelling
the
library
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of 51%. In comparison to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 groups, their
proportion
Use synonyms
 remains between 9%( undergraduates) to 15%( all
students
Use synonyms
 group). The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of all
students
Use synonyms
 and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
, who spend 8-14
hours
Use synonyms
 in the
library
Use synonyms
 is almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, which is around 35%.
While
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 category is 28%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, students, library, hours, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trends
  • Significant figures
  • Distribution
  • Comparison
  • Study habits
  • Preferences
  • Distance learners
  • Continuing education
  • Course requirements
  • Research needs
  • Resource allocation
  • Implications
  • Undergraduates
  • Postgraduates
  • Analyzing
  • Highlighting
  • Examining
  • Reviewing
  • Drawing comparisons
  • Summarizing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: