IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The two bar charts below show the proportion of 14-to 16-year-old students studying a foreign language in an English speaking country, and the top three foreign languages.

#two #bar #show #proportion #-to #students #language #english #country #three #languages
The following bar charts show the percentages of 14-16
year old
Add a hyphen
year-old
show examples
students
 studying a foreign language, broken down into two aspects: genders and top three foreign
languages
 between 1984 and 2007.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that trends of studying
german
Capitalize word
German
show examples
 and Spanish were on the rise,
whereas
 that of French underwent a downward trend.
However
, it is interesting to note that the proportion of female
students
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 overtaking that of men in both compared years. A closer look at
bar
Correct article usage
the bar
show examples
 chart
can be seen
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 that the proportion of girls who studied non-native
languages
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 greater than their counterparts at about
15
Correct article usage
a 15
show examples
-20% gap.
Moreover
, over two decades both figures of language learners in both
sex
Fix the agreement mistake
sexes
show examples
 declined at different
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 where the percentage of of girls dropped two-fold of boys at 10%. With regards to
languages
, French
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 noticeably the most popular
languages
Fix the agreement mistake
language
show examples
 among multilingual
students
 at 50% in 1984 and 35% in 2007.
On the contrary
,
while
 Spanish learners were the fewest across the given time frame at 3% in 1984 and 5% in 2007, the percentage of
students
 learning German experienced small growth from 20% in 1084 to approximately 25% in 2007.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words students, languages with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
▼
Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
What to do next:
Look at other essays: