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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities form 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities form 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #form #predictions #summarise #features #comparisons
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The line graph provides information about the proportion of the total population in
the
Remove the article
apply
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some Asian nations
such
Linking Words
 as
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
Thailand
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Indonesia
Correct word choice
and Indonesia
show examples
 living in cities from 1970 to 2020 and
also
Linking Words
 foresees for 2030 and 2040
Overall
Linking Words
,
a
Change preposition
at a
show examples
glance at
graph
Add an article
the graph
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is clear, despite all countries in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some
Correct your spelling
same
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 years
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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being
Change the verb form
to be
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 a downward trend at
Correct article usage
the passange
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passange
Correct your spelling
passage
 of time
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, they
had rose
Wrong verb form
have risen
show examples
 though, is expected that these trends would be continued more sharply by 2040. In 1970,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 had the most city residents among the countries with 32% and
this
Linking Words
 had a short difference in comparison to
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 with 30%,
then
Linking Words
 followed by
Thailand
Use synonyms
 with just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less than 20% and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 with around 15%.
Although
Linking Words
, the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
city residents of
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 increased significantly by 2020,
however
Linking Words
,
Thailand
Use synonyms
's public
steady
Change the word
steadily
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 remained at just less than 30,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 after reaching
at
Remove the preposition
apply
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50%
in1990
Correct your spelling
in 1990
, dropped gradually by 40% in
this
Linking Words
 period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they are predicted from 2030 to 2040, all countries will face a remarkable increase in growth
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 population living in cities. It seems,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 going to hit 80%,
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 will be in second place with 60%
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 with around 55% and 45% respectively.
Submitted by mahyarnaseri on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, thailand, indonesia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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