The percentage of overweight children in Western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss causes and effects of this disturbing trends. Give your solution for the causes.
Healthy
Add an article
A healthy
lifestyle
is important for our life, the foods that we consume everyday
influence Correct your spelling
every day
to
our Change preposition
apply
healthy
. In western, Replace the word
health
Correct article usage
the precentage
precentage
overweight of Correct your spelling
percentage
children
has increased by almost 20% in these
Correct determiner usage
the
last
ten years.
The increasing of precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
maybe
caused by unhealthy Correct your spelling
may be
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
by
Change preposition
of
children
and their family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
such
as Correct article usage
the consumtion
consumtion
of fast food and processed snacks. The easy accessibility and addictive Correct your spelling
consumption
flavors
by Change the spelling
flavours
children
for
Change preposition
apply
the
fast food would be Correct article usage
apply
the
unhealthy consumption Correct article usage
an
lifestyle
. In additional
, Replace the word
addition
nowdays
, Correct the word
nowadays
children
have sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
lifestyle
too. With the
rise of digital entertainment Change preposition
The
such
as video games, TV, computer
, gadgets, social media, etc, Fix the agreement mistake
computers
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
children
spend more time indoors and less time engaged in physical activities with their family and friends.
Effects of the increasing precentage
overweight of Correct your spelling
percentage
children
is a higher risk of developing health problems like diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart diseases at a young age. Overweight children
might face bullying, develop low self-esteem, and experience isolation from their peers. It can influence to
the growth of Change preposition
apply
children
mental health and characteristic buildings too.
Change noun form
children's
According to
this
condition, parents
should be aware for
their Change preposition
of
children
unhealthy Change noun form
children's
lifestyle
. Parents
should educate their children
about the benefits of balanced
diet and the Correct article usage
a balanced
dangerous
of junk food for their Replace the word
dangers
body
. Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
Parents
should educate their children
about healthy lifestyle
too Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
such
as healthy consumption, doing exercise outside like sports, creating
healthy boundaries with their friends in development activities for their growth. Correct word choice
and creating
Parents
should educated
their Change the verb form
educate
children
to integrate more physical activities in schools and encouraging outdoor play can help combat a sedentary lifestyle
.
In conclusion, a balanced diet and the risks of obesity can help change unhealthy eating habits become
Correct word choice
and become
a healthy habits
.Correct the article-noun agreement
a healthy habit
healthy habits
Submitted by imeldarosari6 on
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task achievement
Ensure clarity in your thesis statement to clearly outline the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Work on coherence by using linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to substantiate your main points.
task achievement
You addressed both the causes and effects of the trend.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion concisely summarizes the solutions provided.
task achievement
Relevant problems and solutions were identified, showing a good understanding of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.