In many cities problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move rural areas. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.
In a wide range of heavily populated locations, which are getting more, few governments are clapping
people
and businesses to live in villages
, which can be beneficial, but not in some specific situations. Some jobs can not be useful in villages
, while
people
can live more relaxed and comfortable there.
Retirees can experience a peaceful life
in villages
in comparison to cities. Today by
expansion overpopulation urban Change preposition
of
life
is getting towards being more busy and more
pollution which is annoying for elderly Correct pronoun usage
there more
people
living in a village can solve this
problem so that they get calm and comfortable in their daily life
. For example
, my parents received their salary from insurance in they are
retired, so they decided to go and live in their village house to be more relaxed and have a more sheltered Wrong verb form
were
life
which is not acceptable in cities.
However
, people
who are professionals in some jobs can not immigrate to villages
because of their jobs. People
who have a good work history in some specific job can not live in villages
because of
their expertise not going to be useful in Change preposition
apply
villages
. For example
one of my friends is a metro designer and she has to work for big companies and design new trains for this
company. It is clear that
if she immigrates to a village can not work any more.
In conclusion, for
some Change preposition
apply
people
who do not have a specific job can easily live in villages
but some other people
have to live there because of expanding their job and helping society.Submitted by TUTOO on
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Organization
Work on creating clear paragraph breaks for different ideas or arguments to improve the logical flow of the essay.
Development
Provide more detailed examples or evidence to support your points thoroughly and convincingly.
Clarity
Refine sentences for clarity to convey ideas more effectively, minimizing any potential misunderstandings.
Coherence
Enhance your transitions between ideas to make the essay smoother and more coherent.
Content
You have introduced both advantages and disadvantages sufficiently well.
Conclusion
Your conclusion reiterates your main points and offers a clear summary of the discussion.
Examples
The examples provided, such as the one about your friend who is a metro designer, are specific and relevant to the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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