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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the information for internet users as percentage of population in three countries from 1999 and 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the information for internet users as percentage of population in three countries from 1999 and 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph gives information about the variation in the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 in 3 countries from 1999 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the rate in all countries in
this
Linking Words
 line graph increased through 20 years. It
obviously
Change the word
obvious
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
users
Use synonyms
 rocketed over the period of time In 1990, the
percentage
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 of people who used the
internet
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 in the
USA
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 reached the highest
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 more than 20%, followed by
Canada
Use synonyms
 and Mexico
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10% and 5%. 2 years later, American
users
Use synonyms
 still remained in their position
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 40%. The
percentage
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 of
users
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 in
Canada
Use synonyms
 and Mexico increased slightly to 28% and 10%. In 2003, it witnessed the first time
Internet
Use synonyms
users
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 as
Use synonyms
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
show examples
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in
Canada
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 led in the graph with 60%
while
Linking Words
 the
USA
Use synonyms
users
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 reached only 50%. The rate of Mexican
users
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 rose by 10%. In 2005, the
percentage
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 of
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Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
 and
USA
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users
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the same
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 70%. In 2007, it
experienced
Verb problem
was
show examples
 the second time the
percentage
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 of Canadian
users
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 overcame American
users
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with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 80% compared to 75% by the
USA
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.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the period, the figure for
Canada
Use synonyms
 rose significantly to 100%, making it the leading source of
Internet
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users
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while
Linking Words
 the rate of
Internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 in the
USA
Use synonyms
 grew to 80%. In Mexico, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 climbed to 35% in 2009
although
Linking Words
 it still remained the lowest level in
this
Linking Words
 report.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, internet, users, canada, usa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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