IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the information for internet users as percentage of population in three countries from 1999 and 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#line #information #internet #users #percentage #population #three #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
The line graph gives information about the variation in the
percentage
 of
Internet
users
 in 3 countries from 1999 to 2009.
Overall
, the rate in all countries in
this
 line graph increased through 20 years. It
obviously
Change the word
obvious
show examples
 that
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
users
 rocketed over the period of time In 1990, the
percentage
 of people who used the
internet
 in the
USA
 reached the highest
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 more than 20%, followed by
Canada
 and Mexico
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10% and 5%. 2 years later, American
users
 still remained in their position
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 40%. The
percentage
 of
users
 in
Canada
 and Mexico increased slightly to 28% and 10%. In 2003, it witnessed the first time
Internet
users
 as
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
show examples
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in
Canada
 led in the graph with 60%
while
 the
USA
users
 reached only 50%. The rate of Mexican
users
 rose by 10%. In 2005, the
percentage
 of
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
 and
USA
users
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the same
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 70%. In 2007, it
experienced
Verb problem
was
show examples
 the second time the
percentage
 of Canadian
users
 overcame American
users
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 80% compared to 75% by the
USA
.
At the end
 of the period, the figure for
Canada
 rose significantly to 100%, making it the leading source of
Internet
users
while
 the rate of
Internet
users
 in the
USA
 grew to 80%. In Mexico, the
percentage
 of
Internet
users
 climbed to 35% in 2009
although
 it still remained the lowest level in
this
 report.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, internet, users, canada, usa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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