What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people's attention to art? The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead.

#people #attention #art #government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services

Many

government

Change to a plural noun

governments

show examples

invest most of

Correct pronoun usage

their fund

show examples

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

Change preposition

in easthetics

show examples

easthetics

Correct your spelling

aesthetics

and public services for

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

usege

Correct your spelling

use

. some

people

said

Correct article usage

a wast

show examples

wast

Correct your spelling

waste

show examples

mony

Correct your spelling

money

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

Change preposition

on easthetics

show examples

easthetics

Correct your spelling

aesthetics

esthetics

usege

Correct your spelling

usage

whiel

Correct your spelling

while

government

invest

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

public

servise

Correct your spelling

service

It will be

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

argument is very important for us. I will argue

this

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

next paragraph.

Firstly

, THe nations are investing

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

arts,music and theater

develpe

Correct your spelling

development

. It is very

iportant

Correct your spelling

important

for us but

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

fund

will be useful

some

Change preposition

for some

show examples

of persons only. All

people

are not interset in

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

easthetics

events or

compatitions

Correct your spelling

competitions

competition

but only one

this

when will give

important

Replace the word

importance

show examples

for

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

skill will be

develope

Correct your spelling

developed

develop

interesting

Change preposition

by interesting

show examples

people

For example

; when

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

fund

money

for any artist they can popular or get any national or international fermous

award

Fix the agreement mistake

awards

show examples

therefore

they will

farmous

Correct your spelling

famous

our country.

Moreover

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

relese

Correct your spelling

release

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

for many needs

however

, some needs are not

complet

Correct your spelling

completely

public

usege

Correct your spelling

usage

use

therefore

Correct article usage

the gevernment

show examples

gevernment

Correct your spelling

government

will not

allocat

Correct your spelling

allocate

allocated

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the easthetis

show examples

easthetis

Change the capitalization

Easthetis

show examples

because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

many needs. that are infrastructural needs, road developments, water

suplly

Correct your spelling

supply

and ... many more. when needs are more they

cant

Correct your spelling

can't

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

mony

Correct your spelling

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

others.

For example

; many

people

have not

get

Wrong verb form

got

show examples

house

Add an article

a house

the house

show examples

for resitence It is

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

important

needs

Fix the agreement mistake

need

show examples

for them

despide

Correct your spelling

despite

the

government

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not full full

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

needs. In conclusion,

Correct article usage

the govenment

show examples

govenment

Correct your spelling

government

governments

invest

Correct subject-verb agreement

invests

show examples

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

easthetics

but

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of needs so

Correct article usage

the govenment

show examples

govenment

Correct your spelling

government

will

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

public needs. both

part

Change to a plural noun

parts

show examples

are very

iportant

Correct your spelling

important

but easthetiscs

are

Verb problem

show examples

not use all the

people

but

Correct article usage

the pulic

show examples

pulic

Correct your spelling

public

using

Verb problem

apply

show examples

needs are many

therefore

Add an article

the

show examples

government

will invest more

maney

Correct your spelling

money

for public

usege

Correct your spelling

usage

use

.If they use public who will get good

infrastructur

Correct your spelling

infrastructure

and

moden

Correct your spelling

modern

life

stylse

Correct your spelling

style

styles

Submitted by nrilwan373 on Sun Nov 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to provide clearer arguments and structured paragraphs that distinctly separate different points of view.

introduction conclusion present

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly distinct and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.

relevant specific examples

Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

task achievement

The essay attempts to address both aspects of the question: the importance of arts and public services.

introduction conclusion present

You have included an introduction and conclusion, which helps organize your essay's structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
83Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural identity
Societal values
Underfunding
Innovation
Cultural diversity
Community engagement
Social cohesion
Necessities
Enrichment
Tourism
Job creation
Urban revitalization
Educational programs
Heritage preservation
Public-private partnerships
National culture
Accessibility
Engagement
Digital platforms
Audience demographics

What to do next:

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What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people's attention to art? The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

roads will be safer if cyclist pass exsam each year. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbles and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this Information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Do you agree that there are still many more major technological innovations to be made?

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?