IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph compares employment rates in three sectors of the economy in the UK, 2000-2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevant.

The line graph provides information about the rate of employment in three sectors in the United Kingdom between 2000 to 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the self-employed and public
sector
Use synonyms
 increased
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 10 years, but the private
sector
Use synonyms
 of the UK economy decreased at the same time
although
Linking Words
 it had the most amount of rates rather
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
 the two other sectors. The amount of self-employed jumped around 12% during 10 years except from 2002 to mid-2003 witch it slightly declined.
Moreover
Linking Words
, public
sector
Use synonyms
 rates rose as same as the self-employed section but went down by around one year from 2005 to 2006. In 2000, the private
sector
Use synonyms
 had the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 proportion compared with other sections but dramatically dropped around 28 per cent and became the lowest rate in the UK economy in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economy
  • sectors
  • agriculture
  • manufacturing
  • services
  • trends
  • increases
  • decreases
  • comparison
  • highest
  • lowest
  • economic policies
  • technological advancements
  • global market demands
  • patterns
  • decade
  • significant changes
  • abrupt changes
  • stability
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