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Band 5

The mix graphs give information about The percentage of people arrested from 1990 until 1994

The mix graphs give information about The percentage of people arrested from 1990 until 1994
#mix #graphs #information #percentage #people
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The pie chart compares the percentages of
males
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 and
females
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 who were arrested between 1990 and 1994,
while
Linking Words
 the bar graph illustrates the main reasons for recent arrests.
Overall
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, the proportion of male arrestees was significantly higher than that of
females
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 within the given time period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
drinking
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drunk
show examples
 driving was cited as the reason for being under arrest in most cases for both
males
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 and
females
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, which was
also
Linking Words
 the category where
females
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 outnumbered
males
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 by far. Regarding arrest percentages, nearly a third of men were arrested from 1990 to 1994, which was more than triple the figure for women, who accounted for 9%. The remainder of individuals in both demographics were not subject to being arrested. The reasons for being arrested vary from cases as serious as assault to less minor offences like jaywalking.
However
Linking Words
, by far the most common reason for arrest was
drink
Replace the word
drunk
show examples
 driving, affecting both genders largely.
This
Linking Words
 case accounted for virtually a third for
males
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 and well under two-fifths for women.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of arrests on grounds of speeding was about twice as high for
males
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 as it was for
females
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, at just over 25%.
Males
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 who were arrested for breaking and entering and jaywalking made up around 16% each as opposed to
females
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 who comprised around 10% and 15%, respectively. More
females
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 than
males
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 were brought in by the police for assault, constituting just under a fifth and about 16%,
while
Linking Words
 petty theft was less common, making up 15% or less, and around 5% of respondents did not respond.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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