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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A lot of places in the world relied on tourism as a main source of income unfortunately can also be a source of problems if it isn’t managed currently. Describe the adv and dis? Do you think benefits of tourism is drawback?

#places #world #tourism #source #income #isn’t #adv #dis #drawback
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Nowadays
tourism
 generates a significant portion of national income for most of the countries, but it has certain drawbacks too.
This
 essay will examine
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages of
tourism
 and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of
developed
Add an article
the developed
show examples
tourism
 industry are
boost
Correct article usage
a boost
show examples
 in
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
 economy and a large number of new job openings for local people.
Firstly
, tourists spend money on a wide range of services, including hotels, transportation, amusements, food and medical services.
This
 way,
tourism
 yields an additional income, greatly supporting the country’s economy.
Secondly
,
tourism
 increases
level
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the level
show examples
 of employment by bringing new
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
For instance
, the influx of tourists
result
Change the verb form
results
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 in a large demand
in
Change preposition
for
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 restaurant workers, hotel staff, tour guides and employees of retail services, exhorting business owners to hire more people for these positions.
However
,
tourism
 affects
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and cleanliness of popular tourist destinations. If the tourist location is not managed properly, it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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 deleterious effects on the ecology of that place. The demand for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increased construction is building more and more hotels.
This
 often leads to
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
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 of forests and overexploitation of natural sources, disturbing
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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 ecology of
world
Add an article
the world
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. To recapitulate, to
tourism
 industry has some downsides like disastrous impacts on forests, but it does not overshadow the positive impact on
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
 economy. I believe that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of
tourism
 totally outweigh the drawbacks of it.
Submitted by writing9.pry221 on

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear idea, and develop it fully before moving to another point to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Introduce more relevant specific examples to strengthen the arguments and make them more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid small grammatical errors, which can sometimes affect the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, helping the reader follow the arguments presented.
task achievement
The essay successfully highlights both advantages and disadvantages of tourism, fulfilling the task response requirement.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow from one paragraph to another, with a clear distinction between the advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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