IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era,
science
Use synonyms
 plays an essential part in contributing to
people
Use synonyms
’s lives. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
is also
show examples
 the most important aim of
science
Use synonyms
. I partly agree with
this
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 statement and give my personal view
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
. On the first hand,
science
Use synonyms
 holds
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 in other aspects of
life
Use synonyms
, not just
boost
Wrong verb form
boosting
show examples
 human living.
Science
Use synonyms
 takes charge in exploring and looking for the answer
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
super
Correct article usage
the super
show examples
 phenomenon surrounding us, in some facets of
life
Use synonyms
. When they have the answer, they will assess and propose the new key
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 inventing. To illustrate, conceiving that
people
Use synonyms
always
Verb problem
are always
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 curious about the old buildings in
Egupt
Correct your spelling
Egypt
. And why
people
Use synonyms
 in previous centuries
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 achieve the modern level that
people
Use synonyms
 may not reach.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
science
Use synonyms
 in
this
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 situation is really
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
, they carry out
investigating
Replace the word
investigations
show examples
 and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 to meet the wonder.
Moreover
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,
this
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 will relate to the history,
people
Use synonyms
 must know about their origin, their process of growing
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 that
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
shape
Correct subject-verb agreement
shapes
show examples
moral
Correct word order
people’s moral
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s awareness.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the most important mission of
science
Use synonyms
 should be to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 the
life
Use synonyms
 of human beings. First of all, they contribute to many fields, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 significant in improving
human’s
Check wording
human
show examples
 lives
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as space,
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
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 field and
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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ennvironment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
In addition
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,
science
Use synonyms
 has a
hug
Use the right word
huge
show examples
 success in
modernalizing
Correct your spelling
modernising
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 today.
People
Use synonyms
 use digital items
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their daily
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 technologies and becoming extremely important
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 all of them
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also
Verb problem
are also
show examples
link
Wrong verb form
linked
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, thanks to the
science
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 exploring
Correct article usage
the human’s
show examples
human’s
Correct determiner usage
the human
show examples
 body structure,
people
Use synonyms
 can prevent a huge range of diseases.
Science
Use synonyms
find
Wrong verb form
has found
show examples
 a lot of solutions to increase
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 vaccines, medicine and basic tips to prevent. In space,
science
Use synonyms
continue
Correct subject-verb agreement
continues
show examples
 finding other planets and trying to put
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
footstep
Check wording
foot
show examples
 on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In short,
science
Use synonyms
 comes across various facets of
life
Use synonyms
 and
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 aim
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
 only
improving
Wrong verb form
to improve
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s lives but
also
Linking Words
 other crucial fields.

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structure
Plan one idea per part and keep it simple.
grammar
Use short and clear sentences, and fix big grammar issues.
content
Use examples that fit the point you make and explain how they show your view.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, so to help your flow.
content
The writer shows a view and tries to use examples.
structure
There are parts that are easy to read and the idea is clear.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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