IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
It is
argue
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argued
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 that the most
curial
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crucial
 aim of
science
Use synonyms
 should be to improve
people’s
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
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lives
show examples
. From my perspective, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 thinking.
This
Linking Words
 essay will propose some reasons and give
any
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apply
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relevant
instance
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instances
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.
Body paragraph 1
One major cause is that people have a large range of serious issues
must
Correct pronoun usage
that must
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 tackle by achievement of
science
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.
For instance
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, Covid-19 diease lead to many negative
result
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results
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, including reducing
economy
Add an article
the economy
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, causing
to
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apply
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many environmental
problem
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problems
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,…
There for
Correct word choice
Therefore
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,
scientist
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scientists
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 must carry out producing vaccine to prevent the spread of
this
Linking Words
dieseas
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disease
.
Beside
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Besides
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 that, the success of
science
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assist
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helps
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 to improve the
quanlity
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quality
 of
life
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. Transportation, medicine, vaccine,… All of
this
Linking Words
are
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is
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 the success of
science
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 which we use in daily
life
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, many
achievement
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achievements
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 of
science
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Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as digital
divices
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devices
, infrastructure,…
helping
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help
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 people to experience many aspects of
Use synonyms
lives
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life
show examples
, and gain more knowledge.
Body paragraph 2
Another important reason is that
,
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apply
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people’s
Use synonyms
lives
Use synonyms
 were
be
Verb problem
apply
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ensured for
the
Correct article usage
their
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 health. It helps lengthen the
long
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length
 of
people’s
Use synonyms
lives
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.
Moreover
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, these
achivement
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achievements
show examples
 of
science
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 open a comfortable and convenience enviroment for everyone.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
by
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about
show examples
 these causes. The
most
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ultimate
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 goal
aim
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apply
show examples
of
science
Use synonyms
 should be to improve
people’s
Use synonyms
lives
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 because it helps ensure
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
, improve the
quanlity
Correct your spelling
quality
 of
life
Use synonyms
, and open a better environment.

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task response
State your main view more clearly in the first paragraph. Say that you fully agree, then give two clear reasons that you will explain.
task response
Develop each main idea with a simple chain: main point, why it matters, and one clear example. For example, explain how vaccines save lives and allow people to work and study safely.
task response
Use the Covid-19 example more carefully. Focus on health and daily life. Do not add unclear ideas about the environment unless you explain them well.
task response
Answer the words “most important aim” directly. You could say that science can have other aims, such as learning about space, but helping people should come first.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph about one main idea. Paragraph 1 can be about health; paragraph 2 can be about daily life, such as travel, phones, and safe water.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show the order of your ideas: “First”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “In addition”. Do not use too many link words in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make sentences complete and easy to follow. For example, change “people have a large range of serious issues must tackle” to “People face many serious problems that science can help solve.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about better lives in every paragraph. Give a new point in each paragraph, then bring the main ideas together in the final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Write a stronger final paragraph. Restate your view and briefly name the two reasons, without adding new ideas.
task response
You give a clear view that you agree with the statement.
task response
You use a relevant real-world example: Covid-19 and vaccines.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, two body paragraphs, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You try to connect ideas with words such as “For instance”, “In addition”, and “Moreover”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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