You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Many
people
do not think that the most
viral
Correct your spelling
vital
show examples
goal of
science
should
Verb problem
is to
show examples
help improve
people
’s lives.
While
I believe that the thinking of
people
totally
Add a missing verb
is totally
show examples
wrong. The ideals of many
people
will attract
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
. The first reason is that if
people
want to aims of
science
,
people
will pay a lot of money.
For example
,
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
will
must
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
pay money for
science
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
science
and modern equipment. The second reason is that
people
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
must lose more time so that
people
have
Verb problem
can
show examples
aim
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
science
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
1 year, 2 years or more.
While
I believe that the most important aim of
science
should be to improve
people
’s lives. Because
science
will help
people
can have
fitness
Correct article usage
a fitness
show examples
lifestyle.
For instance
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
science
will help
people
if they have ill.
Besides
, if
science
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
,
people
also
develop because
science
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
want
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to approach and enhance
Correct pronoun usage
their brain
show examples
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
and into intelligent
people
. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
science
should
be improve
Change the verb form
improve
show examples
people
’s lives if it into
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
important aim. So we
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
learn and approach a lot about
science
in order to
science
can develop,
Correct word choice
and comparion
show examples
comparion
Correct your spelling
compare
with other countries in the world.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
, it
also
will help
people
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
issues a lot.
Submitted by aesacademyforenglishstudy on

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task response
Clarify your position in the introduction. It's not clear whether you agree or disagree with the statement entirely.
task response
Support your arguments with specific and clear examples. The examples given are vague and not fully explained.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. The transition from one point to another feels abrupt.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied linking words or phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences to enhance flow.
task response
The essay includes both reasons and examples, which enhances the discussion of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion sums up your viewpoint, emphasizing the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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