IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #aim #science #people’s #lives
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 do not think that the most
viral
Correct your spelling
vital
show examples
 goal of
science
Use synonyms
should
Verb problem
is to
show examples
 help improve
people
Use synonyms
’s lives.
While
Linking Words
 I believe that the thinking of
people
Use synonyms
totally
Add a missing verb
is totally
show examples
 wrong. The ideals of many
people
Use synonyms
 will attract
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
. The first reason is that if
people
Use synonyms
 want to aims of
science
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 will pay a lot of money.
For example
Linking Words
,
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will
must
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
pay money for
science
Use synonyms
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 and modern equipment. The second reason is that
people
Use synonyms
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
must lose more time so that
people
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
can
show examples
 aim
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
science
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
in
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 1 year, 2 years or more.
While
Linking Words
 I believe that the most important aim of
science
Use synonyms
 should be to improve
people
Use synonyms
’s lives. Because
science
Use synonyms
 will help
people
Use synonyms
 can have
fitness
Correct article usage
a fitness
show examples
 lifestyle.
For instance
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like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
science
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 will help
people
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 if they have ill.
Besides
Linking Words
, if
science
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develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 develop because
science
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develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
want
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to approach and enhance
Correct pronoun usage
their brain
show examples
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 and into intelligent
people
Use synonyms
. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
science
Use synonyms
 should
be improve
Change the verb form
improve
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s lives if it into
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 important aim. So we
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 learn and approach a lot about
science
Use synonyms
 in order to
science
Use synonyms
 can develop,
Correct word choice
and comparion
show examples
comparion
Correct your spelling
compare
 with other countries in the world.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
, it
also
Linking Words
 will help
people
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 issues a lot.
Submitted by aesacademyforenglishstudy on

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task response
Clarify your position in the introduction. It's not clear whether you agree or disagree with the statement entirely.
task response
Support your arguments with specific and clear examples. The examples given are vague and not fully explained.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. The transition from one point to another feels abrupt.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied linking words or phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences to enhance flow.
task response
The essay includes both reasons and examples, which enhances the discussion of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion sums up your viewpoint, emphasizing the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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