IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

International communities should act immediately to ensure that all countries reduce their consumption of fossil fuels, e.g. gas and oil. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#communities #act #countries #consumption #fuels #e #g #gas #oil
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Mankind
is
Verb problem
has
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relying
Wrong verb form
relied
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 mainly on fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
, in order to, meet their
energy
Use synonyms
 needs for domestic and commercial purposes
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ancient times.
However
Linking Words
, a few
people
Use synonyms
advocates
Change the verb form
advocate
show examples
 that international bodies must insist countries
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
look for other options for their
energy
Use synonyms
 needs. But, I do not agree with
this
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 notion to a much extent and reasons to support my stance are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, those who are in favour of
this
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 trend assert that it could help to reduce the effects of global warming. In fact, the atmospheric temperature of the earth has been on
a
Correct article usage
the
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 rise, because of the increased air pollution
due to
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burning
Correct article usage
the burning
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 of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
such
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 as coal and oil.
For example
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,
according to
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 a study, about 18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air pollution is caused by
burning
Correct article usage
the burning
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 of
fuels
Use synonyms
 from vehicles and domestic activities.
Therefore
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, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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wise to reduce the consumption of fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, those who are against
this
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 notion opine that practically it is not possible, because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of awareness among the
people
Use synonyms
 of different nations. Indeed, common
people
Use synonyms
 know very little about new
energy
Use synonyms
 sources
such
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 as Solar
energy
Use synonyms
, Wind
energy
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and Hydro-electric
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Hydro-electric
Correct your spelling
hydroelectric energy
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Energy
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, they possess less knowledge about the installation and working of these sources.
Hence
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, a few countries would not stop using oil and gas as
fuels
Use synonyms
. Adding more to it,
carbon free
Add a hyphen
carbon-free
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 generation technologies are expensive to purchase. As a matter of fact, these new substitutes
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 generation are developed and operated by the developed countries mainly, but under-developed nations cannot afford
this
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 technology. To illustrate, in India,
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 has asked
people
Use synonyms
 to install
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Solar panels on their rooftops to generate their own electricity, but
people
Use synonyms
 are unable to buy them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Solar panels are expensive.
Therefore
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, it is a troublesome task to shift
people
Use synonyms
 from using fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
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, undoubtedly, pressing environmental issues like global warming could be tackled to some extent with
this
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 change, but individual acceptance and cost
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
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 are the main obstacles in the way of
this
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 change.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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task response
Provide a clearer stance in the introduction to outline your position on the issue more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the essay follows a logical structure throughout, with each idea clearly linked to the next.
task response
Consider elaborating on certain points, such as the environmental benefits of reducing fossil fuel usage, to fully achieve the task.
task response
The essay addresses the main prompt and offers balanced views both in favor and in opposition to the statement.
task response
Your examples, such as the study on air pollution and the solar panel situation in India, effectively illustrate your points.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph flows logically from one idea to the next, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion.
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