IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The bar chart below shows the percentages of children from four countries taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #percentages #children #four #countries #part #kinds #activities #information #features #comparisons
The bar
chart
 illustrates the proportion of kids from two Asian and two African
countries
, participating in four types of activities in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2018. From the
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 it is visible that
popularity
Correct article usage
the popularity
show examples
 of activities
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 quite equal among the
children
 in all
countries
. Studying the bar
chart
 in more
detailed
Replace the word
detail
show examples
, it can be clearly seen that computer games
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the most popular activity in all four
countries
 (from 40 per
cent
 of
children
 in China to 60 per
cent
 of
children
 in Nigeria). In opposite, reading was the least popular activity among
children
 in Malaysia,
China
Correct word choice
and China
show examples
, with 20 per
cent
 and 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
children
 respectively, and with 10 per
cent
 of
children
 in Nigeria and Sudan. 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
children
 in all
countries
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their leisure time watching TV.
Popularity
Add an article
The popularity
show examples
 of board games varied from 20 to 30 percent among the
countries
. In conclusion, the bar
chart
 shows that the most popular activity among
children
 in all
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
countries
 was computer games
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
 reading was the least popular spending of leisure time.
Submitted by rasav on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, countries, children, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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