The bar chart below shows the percentages of children from four countries taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentages of children from four countries taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart provides information about the
precentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
of
children
Use synonyms
taking part in
four
Use synonyms
kinds of activities from
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
China
Use synonyms
,
Nigeria
Use synonyms
, and
Sudan
Use synonyms
in 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, percentages of reading
activity
Use synonyms
for
children
Use synonyms
downward trend.
While
Linking Words
percentages of
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
activities
such
Linking Words
as
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
,
board
Correct word choice
and board
show examples
games
Use synonyms
, showed upward and downward
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
in
four
Use synonyms
different
countries
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand,
Correct article usage
the percentages
show examples
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
of watching TV is always the same all year round.
Although
Linking Words
board
Use synonyms
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
show examples
activity
Use synonyms
had a lower
percentage
Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it increased to the same
percentage
Use synonyms
with watching TV
at the end
Linking Words
of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. The highest
percentage
Use synonyms
of
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
activity
Use synonyms
in
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
the chart is
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
.
Computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
was 50% in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
and
Sudan
Use synonyms
, being higher than the other activities in
Use synonyms
malaysia
Change the capitalization
Malaysia
show examples
which has
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
about 20 % to 30% and 10% to 30% in
Sudan
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
games
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
decreased to 40% in
China
Use synonyms
and increased to 60% in
Nigeria
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the bar charts showed
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
increasing and decreasing fluctuation
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
10%
ini
Correct your spelling
in
these
four
Use synonyms
different
countries
Use synonyms
. The lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
of
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
activity
Use synonyms
in
four
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
the chart is reading. The
percentage
Use synonyms
trends
Correct your spelling
tends
show examples
to decrease from 20% in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, 15% in
China
Use synonyms
and 10% in
Nigeria
Use synonyms
and
Sudan
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand,
board
Correct article usage
the board
show examples
games
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
was the same
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
25% in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
and
China
Use synonyms
, but decreased to 20% in
Nigeria
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
increased to 30% in
Sudan
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
of
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
in these
four
Use synonyms
different
countries
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
up and down in 2018.
Submitted by imeldarosari6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words children, four, malaysia, china, nigeria, sudan, activity, computer, games, countries, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 13 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • bar chart
  • percentage
  • activity
  • comparison
  • trends
  • cultural preferences
  • notable differences
  • popular
  • least popular
  • indoor activities
  • outdoor activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: