The bar chart below shows the percentages of children from four countries taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart provides information about the
precentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
of
children
taking part in
four
kinds of activities from
Malaysia
,
China
,
Nigeria
, and
Sudan
in 2018.
Overall
, percentages of reading
activity
for
children
downward trend.
While
percentages of
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
activities
such
as
computer
games
,
board
Correct word choice
and board
show examples
games
, showed upward and downward
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
in
four
different
countries
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand,
Correct article usage
the percentages
show examples
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
of watching TV is always the same all year round.
Although
board
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
show examples
activity
had a lower
percentage
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it increased to the same
percentage
with watching TV
at the end
of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. The highest
percentage
of
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
activity
in
four
countries
according to
the chart is
computer
games
.
Computer
games
percentage
was 50% in
Malaysia
and
Sudan
, being higher than the other activities in
malaysia
Change the capitalization
Malaysia
show examples
which has
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
about 20 % to 30% and 10% to 30% in
Sudan
.
Then
,
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
games
percentage
decreased to 40% in
China
and increased to 60% in
Nigeria
.
However
, the bar charts showed
computer
games
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
increasing and decreasing fluctuation
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
10%
ini
Correct your spelling
in
these
four
different
countries
. The lowest
percentage
of
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
activity
in
four
countries
according to
the chart is reading. The
percentage
trends
Correct your spelling
tends
show examples
to decrease from 20% in
Malaysia
, 15% in
China
and 10% in
Nigeria
and
Sudan
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand,
board
Correct article usage
the board
show examples
games
percentage
was the same
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
25% in
Malaysia
and
China
, but decreased to 20% in
Nigeria
,
then
increased to 30% in
Sudan
. In conclusion,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
of
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
in these
four
different
countries
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
up and down in 2018.
Submitted by imeldarosari6 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words children, four, malaysia, china, nigeria, sudan, activity, computer, games, countries, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 13 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • bar chart
  • percentage
  • activity
  • comparison
  • trends
  • cultural preferences
  • notable differences
  • popular
  • least popular
  • indoor activities
  • outdoor activities
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