IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below shows current health expenditure totals as percentages of GDP* for various European countries for the years 2002, 2007 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. * GDP (Gross Domestic Product) is the total value of goods that are made and services that are provided in a country.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below shows current health expenditure totals as percentages of GDP* for various European countries for the years 2002, 2007 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. * GDP (Gross Domestic Product) is the total value of goods that are made and services that are provided in a country.
#minutes #bar #health #expenditure #percentages #gdp* #european #countries #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons #gdp #product #value #goods #services #country
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The bar graph illustrates the total expenses several European
countries
invest
Wrong verb form
invested
show examples
 in their health industry in the years 2002, 2007, and 2012, measured as
precentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
 of their GDP. Other than Belgium, Spain, Estonia and Switzerland, all
countries
 experienced fluctuations during the given time period. Most of them presented
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expenses during the
10-years
Correct your spelling
10-year
 period,
such
 as
Slovania
Correct your spelling
Slovenia
, Norway and Lithuania,
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 have experienced a 1% rise.
However
, there are
countries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have not
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 as much in 2012 compared to 2007, namely France, with a 2% decrease during
this
 5-year span. Apart from comparing data of individual
countries
 over the 2002-2012 years, there are differences between several
countries
' expenditure on health. The largest gap is between Estonia and Switzerland, having 8% of their GDP separating them.
Overall
, the presented graph shows fluctuations in most of the
countries
, having only a few that remain stable throughout. Generally, there are no great differences between the investments of a country over the years,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 when comparing data from two
countries
, there is usually a significant change.
Submitted by mariaflacau20 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Current health expenditure: The amount of money spent on healthcare services and products at present.
  • - Percentage of GDP: The proportion of the Gross Domestic Product (the total value of goods and services produced in a country) allocated to health expenditure.
  • - Main features: The most important characteristics or aspects.
  • - Overall: In general; considering everything.
  • - Surpassed: Exceeded; went beyond.
  • - Decline: A decrease or reduction.
  • - Fluctuation: An irregular rise and fall; variation.
  • - Comparisons: The act of examining similarities and differences between two or more things.
  • - Largest increase: The greatest growth or rise.
  • - Most fluctuation: The highest degree of variation or instability.
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