The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts illustrate percentages of online shopping

sales

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in New Zealand and are divided into four retail categories over two different years: 2003 and 2013. The sector that has seen the highest rise

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film and music, which has increased its

sales

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percentage

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from 21% to 33%. Another positive trend,despite a lower increase in

percentage

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, has been experienced by books, which reached 22% in 2013 starting from 19% in 2003.

On the other hand

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, travel and clothes saw approximately the same negative trend, indeed their

sales

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have lost respectively 7% and 8%. So, the travel sector, which had the highest

sales

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percentage

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in 2003, was in 2013 in second place, right behind film and music. In summary, from the charts, it can be seen that the sectors which are linked with culture and education, like books film and music, saw a rise in their

sales

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percentage

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while

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the other sectors experienced a drop.

Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on Thu Nov 21 2024

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, percentage with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

153 words

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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.