IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think university education is important for getting a job while others believe it is more important to have experience and soft skills. discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #university #education #job #skills
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There are different opinions regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
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university
Use synonyms
education
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, more specifically there are two groups of people with opposite thoughts. The first
group
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 believes that
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
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education
Use synonyms
 is very important for getting a good
job
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
group
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 thinks that experience and soft skills are more fundamental
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 all types of
education
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. Analyzing the thoughts of the first
group
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, they probably think that, with
this
Linking Words
 type of
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
, they could have more possibilities to find their dream
job
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. Another important factor is the network you can create with other students at the
university
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.
Then
Linking Words
, talking about the future
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 journey, there is a concrete possibility to work for the company you want and to reach higher salaries. Regarding the second
group
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, they probably think that students waste their time because they don’t believe in the
university
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 system. They think that with more experience, your skills can grow up more
speedly
Correct your spelling
quickly
. For me,
this
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 side is totally
sense
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sensible
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, though it depends on the type of
job
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 occupation you want to reach. Having said that, in my opinion, the decision
of studying
Change preposition
to study
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 at the
university
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 is very personal and depends on your goals.
For example
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, if your life goals are
indipendent
Correct your spelling
independent
 from your
job
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, you should ignore the
university
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 studies.
This
Linking Words
 is a possible option because there are many people who don’t care about their
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 and prefer to concentrate
themselves
Remove the pronoun
apply
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on building a good family.
Instead
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, if your life goals are related to money, you have to consider
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
Use synonyms
education
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.
This
Linking Words
 type of
education
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 could accelerate your work career and permit you to reach important roles in the company of your dreams.
Submitted by mattiahsbubich on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve the logical flow, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points, especially when discussing how education or experience impacts job prospects. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each point you make about each side is supported with evidence or examples. This will help develop your argument more robustly.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion, showing a clear understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
You provided a well-balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a good understanding of the issue at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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