IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many countries want to host international sports events while other think that hosting sports events has more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is undeniable that hosting international sports
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
 is a proud feeling for any
country
Use synonyms
 and that
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 ample
benefits
Use synonyms
 to the nation
while
Linking Words
 some consider that
this
Linking Words
 is more problematic than being beneficial.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse both viewpoints including my opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Use synonyms
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 that a
country
Use synonyms
 gets after organising any event.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it helps to boost tourism in that place as international
events
Use synonyms
 should be seen by numerous
people
Use synonyms
 which significantly contributes
in
Change preposition
to
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 advertising a particular nation and after watching the place on television, they become curious to visit the
country
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, Brazil is a
country
Use synonyms
 which only
becomes
Wrong verb form
became
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 famous after
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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olympics
Change the capitalization
Olympics
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 held there which
helps
Wrong verb form
helped
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 them a lot to gain publicity because they
dis
Correct your spelling
did
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 their best to make the games memorable.
Also
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, preparation for
events
Use synonyms
 often leads to improvement in
infrastracture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
,
such
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 as transportation and
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 facilities, which not only
benefits
Use synonyms
 the local communities in the long term but to the workforce
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also
Rephrase
apply
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as it helps in creating new job opportunities for young
people
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, Meanwhile, for constructing new thing it must requires many
people
Use synonyms
 for help.
Therefore
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, it helps to boost
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
a country's
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 economy as it is directly linked with
people
Use synonyms
's
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, critics of the former notion
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that hosting
such
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events
Use synonyms
 can be extremely costly which sometimes
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 the reason
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 significant debt for them as some countries are not fully developed. So, they do not have much money to spend on
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
events
Use synonyms
 but for the sake of countries
proud
Replace the word
pride
show examples
 they have to spend a lot which creates
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 burden on the government.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
for covering
Change preposition
to cover
show examples
this
Linking Words
 loss they started to save money by not providing funds and pensions to
people
Use synonyms
 living.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 hosting an event costs a lot, in
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
 it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 numerous
benefits
Use synonyms
 to the nation.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your arguments to ensure seamless transitions between points and paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to fully develop each point you make, elaborating on ideas and linking them coherently to support a comprehensive analysis.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively introduced the opposing views and provided a conclusion that summarizes your stance.
task achievement
The essay successfully incorporates relevant examples, like the mention of Brazil and the Olympics, to illustrate points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • host nation
  • economic benefits
  • infrastructure development
  • global standing
  • international investments
  • cultural exchange
  • financial burden
  • debt
  • environmental impact
  • short-term economic boost
  • facilities underutilization
  • displacement of residents
  • tourism
  • job creation
  • visibility on the international stage
What to do next:
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