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Band 3.5

The health benefits of physical activities are well known. Despite this, many people do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them exercise regularly?

#health #activities #people #exercise
It is vital to perform physical exercise to stay healthy. Even though, certain sections of people are avoiding
this
 practice. There are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of reasons, Which can,
however
, with the exercise of caution and close observation, be checked. To commence with the root of
this
 ideology, owing to having
hectic
Add an article
a hectic
show examples
 schedule of people and long working hours in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 contemporary times. They are too exhausted to engage in any physical activity.
For example
, International students
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Canada
are tends
Change the verb form
tend
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to do
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
due to
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
show examples
 cost of living with college assignments, which leads to insufficient time for
workout
Correct your spelling
working
show examples
;
thus
, it rapidly becoming a common
witnessed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
phenomenon among
young
Add an article
the young
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 generation.
Nonetheless
, certain measures are suggested to encounter the escalation of the pandemic,
to begin
 with, The Government
as well as
 every firm in the nation should obligated to foster physical fitness among all age groups of citizens. To cite an example, motivating the society through
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
 to stay healthy and providing free yoga classes, gym, and so on.
Therefore
, they will have a desire to at least endeavour physical training. In summation, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contemporary times, Not doing physical activities regularly has surfaced as
grave
Add an article
a grave
show examples
 predicament that needs addressing. With a little mindfulness and careful scrutiny, the menace can be won over.
Submitted by rajputashutosh0009 on

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Task Achievement
Expand on the reasons people avoid regular exercise by including more diverse perspectives or situations. This will allow your response to have a broader understanding and reach a more comprehensive conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will make reading flow more naturally, guiding the reader through your arguments.
Structure
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments effectively.
Relevance
You've identified an important issue about people's busy schedules as a reason for not exercising, offering a realistic scenario that readers can relate to.
Critical Thinking
The suggestion to involve government and firms in promoting physical fitness shows a thoughtful consideration of potential solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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