One of the best methods to motivate and encourage workers is to pay them according to what they produce or sell. Do you think this is the best method?

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Pay
Wrong verb form
Paying
show examples
the
workers
according to
their productivity and sales is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
to push and encourage the
workers
. Using a material aspect to
boosting
Wrong verb form
boost
show examples
motivation
Add an article
the motivation
show examples
of the
workers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
quite efficient, the instant effect is the
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
have set their own
target
. When some individuals
having
Wrong verb form
have
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their own
target
, they become more dedicated
on
Change preposition
to
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chasing the
target
. Indeed, achievements are not always about
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
. Pride is another example of what
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
workers
can achieve. The difference is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
money
can be counted
and
Correct word choice
as
show examples
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
show examples
rather than
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pride. It's fair for
employee
Add an article
an employee
show examples
to
paid
Add a missing verb
be paid
show examples
in accordance with their performances. With current people's spending habits,
money
is more valued by
workers
. The drawback of
this
method is
make
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
the
workers
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
more individualist, it makes them
focused
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
on their own
target
only and creates a bad environment
between
Change preposition
for
show examples
the employees.
Company's
Correct article usage
A company's
show examples
success is achieved by
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great teamwork. Whenever
sinergy
Correct your spelling
synergy
and cooperation are not there, the company is going
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
direction.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion,
money
rewards
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
quite
effect
Replace the word
effective
show examples
instantly. It's very good to have an employee with high ambition and motivation, but the dedication to achieve collective success is
also
important.
Submitted by arjoensyahananta168 on

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Coherence/Cohesion
Improve sentence structure for clarity. Some sentences have awkward phrasing, e.g., 'Using a material aspect to boosting motivation of the workers are quite efficient.'
Coherence/Cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more varied linking words, such as 'however,' 'therefore,' and 'for example,' to better guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
Provide more relevant examples to support your ideas, like specific situations where pay based on productivity has worked well or not.
Task Achievement
Clarify some of your main ideas, such as explaining how achieving personal targets can lead to negative impacts on teamwork. This will strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph's main point is clearly stated and supported with evidence or further explanation.
Coherence/Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure.
Task Achievement
The main argument points are supported by reasonable explanations, like the importance of pride and money as motivation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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