IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in thecement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concretefor building purposes. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in thecement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concretefor building purposes. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Here, the diagrams illustrate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the stages and tools used in the
cement
Use synonyms
-making process
as well as
Linking Words
 how
cement
Use synonyms
 is used to produce concrete for construction purposes.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is worth noticing that limestone and clay are the main ingredients for
cement
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
,
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
 in concrete
production
Use synonyms
,
cement
Use synonyms
, water, sand, and gravel are the foremost resources. At a fleeting glance, in
cement
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
, the first phase is to crush and mix powder of limestone and sand with the aid of a crusher and mixer.
Then
Linking Words
the next step is
Linking Words
 to put the powder in the rotary heater machine and apply some heat.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the major phase is to grind the powder with a grinder after giving it proper heat; now the
cement
Use synonyms
 is ready to be packed in bags and delivered. The second diagram demonstrates how
cement
Use synonyms
 is used to produce concrete for building purposes. In concrete
production
Use synonyms
,
cement
Use synonyms
, sand, and small stones are raw materials used in a proportion of 50:25:15:10. The next and final stage is to put all the sources into a concrete mixer machine, which mixes all the elements perfectly,
thus
Linking Words
 making proper concrete to use in premises.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cement, production with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: