The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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the two pie charts depict the proportion of
time
Use synonyms
working grown-ups allocated
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
various activities in a particular nation in the year 1958 and 2008. At first glance, the adult working
time
Use synonyms
increased significantly over the decades,
while
Linking Words
the
time
Use synonyms
for sleeping and closing family and friends just accounted for a small minority in their routine. In the past, the two main activities sleeping and working had a close percentage with 32% and 33%, respectively, over the following 4 decades, the
time
Use synonyms
for sleeping dropped to one-fourth,
while
Linking Words
working hours considerably grew to over 40%. In 1958, the commuted portion was just a negligible percentage,
however
Linking Words
, underwent the social changes, workplaces often concentrated on a specific area leading to more
time
Use synonyms
for commuting.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the technological changes caused adults to spend less
time
Use synonyms
going out with their loved ones and friends, which just accounted for a modest percentage at 6%, and the allocation on unwinding at home nearly doubled compared with the past with 13%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
time
Use synonyms
on personal interest had a slight increase of 2%.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Proportion
  • Fluctuations
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Time allocation
  • Working adults
  • Activities
  • Comparison
  • Trend
  • Shift
  • Changes
  • Impact
  • Work-life balance
  • Lifestyle
  • Evolution
  • Daily routines
  • Technological changes
  • Social changes
  • Implications
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