Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

The educational
system
should help
students
to improve other
skills
like
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cookery,dressmaking and woodwork.
While
some opinions are like these:
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should
focus
on academic
successes
Fix the agreement mistake
success
show examples
and teaching vital
skills
like
dressmakings
Correct your spelling
dressmaking
dressmakers
,sewing should be parent's
responsiblty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
Although
l admit that
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
system
should
focus
ob
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
academic
succes
Correct your spelling
success
,l am mostly of the opinion that schools
focus
on
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
academic success
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
vital
skills
. It is
undenible
Correct your spelling
undeniable
that,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system
focus
Correct subject-verb agreement
focuses
show examples
on only academic success,purposes and
life
.Schools should teach some vital
skills
to
students
like
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
woodwork,cookery,
sewing
Correct word choice
and sewing
show examples
and these are not
parent's
Correct article usage
the parent's
show examples
responsiblty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.In modern
life
,relying only on
parents
to teach practical
skills
may not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be possible for all
students
,their
parents
often have a
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
job and
students
may not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to learn these
skills
at home.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,both
parents
and
students
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
have time for teaching and learning
life
skills
at home.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,learning these
skills
from
parents
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a problem.Some
parents
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
have any vital
skills
such
as cooking and if they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
know about it,they
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
teach.
For example
,some
resarchers
Correct your spelling
researchers
show us most of
parents
Add an article
the parents
show examples
in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
know how to
cook
,and it is a problem for children.
However
,there are a number of arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of teaching
life
skills
are
Change preposition
as are
show examples
education
system
's
responsiblty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.Learning these
skills
at school
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a lot of advantages for
students
.
Firstly
,it would encourage fertile
creativty
Correct your spelling
creativity
,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
to young develop independence,self-sufficiency,self-improvement and belive
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
which are vitally essential in the young's later
life
.
For example
,a student who learnt about
life
skills
at school,when he
enter
Change the form of the verb
entered
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university ,he
dont
Correct your spelling
doesn't
struggle
Correct subject-verb agreement
struggles
show examples
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
cooking.He can
cook
meals by himself.
Also
,knowing these vital
skills
can help
students
about saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
money.
For example
:if a student
enter
Change the verb form
enters
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university and
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
how to
cook
,he
doesnt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
buy fast food and others.He can
cook
delicious
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
meals and it helps him to save money. In conclusion,l am of
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
that
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system
should not
focus
on only academic success,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
should
focus
on
life
skills
.
This
can help
students
to improve their
skills
and
creativty
Correct your spelling
creativity
.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on clearly organizing your argument to improve logical structure and coherence. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed example and evidence to thoroughly support your main points and assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument presented.
Task Achievement
You present a balanced view in addressing the issue, recognizing the importance of both academic and life skills.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic success
  • passing examinations
  • cookery
  • dressmaking
  • woodwork
  • learn from family and friends
  • personalized learning environment
  • supportive learning environment
  • well-rounded education
  • school curriculum
  • resources
  • expert guidance
  • enhance creativity
  • problem-solving
  • teamwork
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