The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The data presents the proportion of employed

workers

Use synonyms

in six various industries in Australia.

This

Linking Words

includes information from 1989 to 2009.

Overall

Linking Words

, in 1989, the highest percentage of working personnel

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

in the manufacturing sector

whereas

Linking Words

Add the comma(s)

, in

show examples

2009, it

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

the employees from

Correct article usage

the health

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health care

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

industry

Use synonyms

. In comparison, the lowest proportion in both years is the tourism

workforce

Use synonyms

. In detail, in 1989, the greatest percentage of employees in Australia were working in manufacturing at 15%. With a 3.2% difference, it was followed by retail

workers

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, the remaining working

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

in other industries gained less than 10%. In

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

health care

Correct your spelling

healthcare

show examples

industry

Use synonyms

, there

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

9.6%

workers

Use synonyms

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

was 2% higher than the

workforce

Use synonyms

construction

Add an article

the construction

show examples

industry

Use synonyms

. 6.8% of people are employed

under

Change preposition

show examples

education

Correct article usage

the education

show examples

sector, and

lastly

Linking Words

, tourism with 5.5% which was considered the lowest record in 1989.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, after two decades, the highest percentage of

Use synonyms

workforce

Add an article

the workforce

show examples

employed was in

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

care

industry

Use synonyms

at 11.3%.

Retail

Correct article usage

The retail

show examples

workforce

Use synonyms

still remained

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

second rank with 10.1%,

this

Linking Words

was closely followed by manufacturing

workers

Use synonyms

at 9.8%.

Finally

Linking Words

construction

Correct article usage

the construction

show examples

, education and tourism industries

similarly

Linking Words

are with

Verb problem

have

show examples

the

least

Correct word choice

lowest

show examples

proportion of under 10%.

cng123Sat Nov 23 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, industry, workforce with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

186 words

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The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people believe that managers are responsible for the company's success, while others think various features of the organization play vital role in it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and exercise every day, they will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the causes and solutions?

Extreme sports such as sky diving and sking very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?