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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
#proportion #population #three #countries
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The line graph above shows three countries and their citizens who are above the age of 65 in a period of 100 years. The countries are
Japan
Use synonyms
,
USA
Use synonyms
, and
sweeden
Correct your spelling
Sweden
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 will
increases
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 and overtake
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 in 2040, and
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 will
remains
Change the verb form
remain
show examples
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 lowest rate. In 1940, all the countries were approximately close to each other, but in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1980
Add a comma
1980,
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 started to decrease to its lowest rate which is under
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Sweden and
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 started to increase highly in the same year, until they reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15%.
However
Linking Words
, in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2023,
Japan
Use synonyms
 will overtake
USA
Use synonyms
 and Sweden and become the highest since 1940.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the rest will still
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 slightly to reach 20% of the population.
Submitted by layan992015 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, usa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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