The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar graph below displays the amount of employees

Change preposition

per persons

show examples

persons

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gender and various

jobs

, in Australia

last

year.

Overall

men

Correct article usage

the men

show examples

sector

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

compared

Change preposition

show examples

Add an article

the female

a female

show examples

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher but in professionals and clerical

females

have higher. In tradespeople

men

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

the highest percentage in

male

Add an article

the male

show examples

sector around 900 compared with

females

men

are higher with 900%

females

around 100.

Moreover

, in Production

men

around 550

females

around 100,managers male

also

the higher around 600

females

are 33%

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

the number around 200. In clerical

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

and

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

are competing

thr

Correct your spelling

The

difference

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

little

females

are the higher around 1000 males are 850,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

highest level on the chart are

females

clerical around 1000. Professionals the difference

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

closely female around 700 compared

Change preposition

show examples

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

650. The lowest

jobs

if you compared with other

jobs

sector is Labourers

mens

Correct your spelling

means

around 400

females

around 275,

semi professional

Add a hyphen

semi-professional

show examples

jobs

male around 500 and

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

around 300.

Submitted by abdallah550603 on Sun Nov 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words jobs, men, females with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 13 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, academic achievements are considered essential for the young generation. Consequently, some individuals claim that practical subjects should be omitted from schools' educational plans, hence, that kids can concentrate on academic ones. I totally disagree with this argument.
7.5
band
You are going abroad on holiday and your friend will stay in your home while you are away. Write a letter to your friend, in your letter - explain where you hide the keys - describe what your friend needs to do in your absent - say when you are coming back
How's life there? I hope this letter finds you well. I would like to thank you for agreeing to take care of my house as long as I am on my holiday. I am writing this letter to tell you some information that you need to know associated with that.
5.5
band
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There is an ongoing argument among individuals that inborn talented public are only successful in all professional areas. like sports or art, However, some think that any young person can be trained to become successful in their field including music or sport. I agree that anyone in the world becomes successful if adequate education is provided in a given field.
7.5
band
Nowadays, parents are allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones to enhance learning. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In today’s era, many parents let their kids use iPads and mobile phones in order to increase their learning abilities. This essay will argue that the advantages do not outweigh the drawbacks.
4
band
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not real needs of the society in which they are sold. to what extent do you agree or disagree relevant examples from your own knowledge or experienece.
Nowadays, the population is being influenced, by massive reach of advertising through social media, and television or just walking around. Some people think that is creating need to consuming products, on the other hand, others believe that these products make life easier, therefore, there is a real reason to be sold. from my perspective it seems that marketing influencers in a great significant what to make desicions on the market.

The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You

You are going abroad on holiday and your friend will stay in your home while you are away. Write a letter to your friend, in your letter - explain where you hide the keys - describe what your friend needs to do in your absent - say when you are coming back

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays, parents are allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones to enhance learning. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not real needs of the society in which they are sold. to what extent do you agree or disagree relevant examples from your own knowledge or experienece.