Some organisations belive that their employees should dress smartly . Others value quality of work above appearance . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

Nowadays,there are more and more organisations and
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies that
show examples
allow their
employees
to
dress
casual
Change the word
casually
show examples
instead
of having
an
Change the article
a
show examples
uniform
or formal
dressing
Replace the word
dress
show examples
.Some
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
show examples
still
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that it is important for
employees
to
dress
smartly,
however
,some value the
quality
of
work
more than appearance.In
thi
Correct your spelling
this
the
essay,I will be discussing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both views of valuing formal dressing and valuing the
quality
of
work
. There are many
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
show examples
still providing
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
or
requirig
Correct your spelling
requiring
employees
to
dress
smart to
work
,in which there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a lot of advantages.
Firstly
,
dress
Wrong verb form
dressing
show examples
smart can provide people
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
good first impression,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is really important for a
company
to have.Not only for
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
but
also
partners, making them believe that your
company
is
uniform
and trustworthy can provide more
work
opportunities for the
organiation
Correct your spelling
organisation
organization
.
Secondly
,smart dressing can
increase
the sense of belonging of the
employees
to the
company
,and eventually
increase
the
efficiency
of
work
.When you and your coworkers
dress
smart together and become
uniform
,you may feel that you belong to
this
family. When
employees
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
the love in the
company
,they will be motivated and
work
hard to contribute to their
company
.
Thirdly
,
dress
Wrong verb form
dressing
show examples
smart may provide
employees
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
sense to be
serious
Replace the word
seriousness
show examples
and
work
.
As when
Correct word choice
When
show examples
you are dressed
formal
Change the word
formally
show examples
,there will be a feeling that you are working and not playing.It can make
employees
to be more
consenrated
Correct your spelling
concentrated
on their
work
,and eventually
increase
the
quality
and the
efficiency
of
work
.
However
,some believe that it is more important to value the
quality
of
work
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than how the
employees
dress
to
work
,all they care
is
Change preposition
about is
show examples
a comfortable and effective working environment.
Firstly
,allowing
employees
to
dress
what
Change preposition
in what
show examples
they are comfortable in can
increase
the
quality
of their
work
.
As being
Change preposition
Being
show examples
in a comfortable state
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
employees
to
work
under stress,and eventually minimize mistakes.
Secondly
,valuing the
quality
of
work
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
employees
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
clear and precise goal.Having a
company
valuing the
quality
of
work
can
increase
the
efficiency
of
work
,as having a goal for
employees
to follow
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
bear in mind what they have to do to meet the standard of the
company
.
Thirdly
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
valuing more on the
quality
of
work
can
also
provide the
organisation
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
more job opportunities.Having
Add an article
a high
show examples
high
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work
like
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
show examples
or even works that
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
awards can
increase
the
reputaion
Correct your spelling
reputation
of the
company
.The more successful reference for others,the more they would like to
work
with you as they would gain trust
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
your
company
. In my opinion,both dressing smartly and high
quality
of
work
is crucial to an
organisation
.
However
,I
belived
Correct your spelling
believe
believed
that dressing smartly should be the priority,as it can
also
increase
the employee's
quality
and
efficiency
of
work
,as
employees
will be more serious
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
work
.
Therefore
it can meet both
critiria
Correct your spelling
criteria
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
Consider incorporating more specific examples or case studies to bolster your arguments. For instance, mention particular industries or companies that prioritize smart dressing or quality of work more specifically.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has logical progression, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using clear linking phrases at the end of each paragraph can help enhance flow.
task achievement
Ensure to proofread for minor grammar and punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas and misspellings ('organization'). This will improve clarity and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
While the conclusion is substantial, reinforcing your opinion with a restatement of key points can strengthen the ending. This reinforces your stance firmly.
task achievement
The essay successfully introduces the topic and clearly outlines both views concerning dressing smartly and valuing work quality.
task achievement
The conclusion offers a balanced personal opinion, which is crucial for task response in an essay of this type.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is supported with reasonable arguments, contributing to the development of a cohesive essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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