Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fine for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Governments have received opinions from the public saying that computer
games
and films containing
violence
should be banned. There are
also
voices saying that they should not be prohibited, as they do not cause any harm to society.
This
essay will discuss both views
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and why they should not be banned. Ever since video
games
have been released, the shooter genre has been one of the most popular
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
of
games
played by all ages. Of course,
this
genre contains
violence
as it mostly involves killing enemy NPCs to progress the game. The
negatives
Change the noun form
negative
show examples
consequences of
this
,
however
, are so mild they should not be completely attributed to video
games
.
Similarly
, the film thriller genre has been popular since the 1980s. Teenagers and adults have been watching serial killers murder clueless characters in films
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
ages, and there
hasn't
Change the verb form
haven't
show examples
been any adverse effects. Saying that these forms of simple entertainment should be banned is illogical. Of course, there needs to be a limit placed on the
violence
shown. Films and video
games
already have parental discretion ratings for these cases.
However
, it is ultimately the parents that has to decide whether their children
gets
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get
show examples
the right to see
violence
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their entertainment or not.
Submitted by mthariqmakarim on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding a more structured introduction and conclusion to make your argument clearer.
task achievement
Include more examples or evidence supporting each viewpoint, which will enhance the depth of your discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument clearly.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant context by discussing how violent video games and films have been popular for years.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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