Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fine for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#computer #games #films #violence #people #society #government #ban #entertainment

Governments have received opinions from the public saying that computer

games

and films containing

violence

should be banned. There are

also

voices saying that they should not be prohibited, as they do not cause any harm to society.

This

essay will discuss both views

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and why they should not be banned. Ever since video

games

have been released, the shooter genre has been one of the most popular

type

Change to a plural noun

types

show examples

games

played by all ages. Of course,

this

genre contains

violence

as it mostly involves killing enemy NPCs to progress the game. The

negatives

Change the noun form

negative

show examples

consequences of

this

however

, are so mild they should not be completely attributed to video

games

Similarly

, the film thriller genre has been popular since the 1980s. Teenagers and adults have been watching serial killers murder clueless characters in films

since

Change preposition

for

show examples

ages, and there

hasn't

Change the verb form

haven't

show examples

been any adverse effects. Saying that these forms of simple entertainment should be banned is illogical. Of course, there needs to be a limit placed on the

violence

shown. Films and video

games

already have parental discretion ratings for these cases.

However

, it is ultimately the parents that has to decide whether their children

gets

Change the verb form

get

show examples

the right to see

violence

Change preposition

show examples

their entertainment or not.

Submitted by mthariqmakarim on Mon Nov 25 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider adding a more structured introduction and conclusion to make your argument clearer.

task achievement

Include more examples or evidence supporting each viewpoint, which will enhance the depth of your discussion.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument clearly.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant context by discussing how violent video games and films have been popular for years.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

204 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fine for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outways disadvantages in family developement.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

Planting trees if very important, some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of the cities and town, while others say that housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?