IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#line #population #size #birth #rate #death #england #wales #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The
graph
 illustrates the size of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
,
birth
rate
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
death
rate
 of Wales and England from 1700 to 2000. It is noticeable that the
graph
 shows increasing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
 and it caused of
birth
rate
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
grew
Change the verb form
to grow
show examples
 and
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
rate
declined
Verb problem
to decline
show examples
.
Birth
Add an article
The birth
show examples
rate
 started increasing
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1750 and
reamin
Correct your spelling
remained
 constant
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 1800.After
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
rate
 declined to 1850 followed by
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 fall until 1900.
After
this
 happened
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 until 1950 followed by
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 until 2000. the
graph
 illustrates that
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
rate
 constantly increased to 1750
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 unchanged until 1800.
After
this
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
sudden
Correct article usage
a sudden
show examples
 fall to 1850 followed by
remain
Change the verb form
remaining
show examples
 stable until 1900.
After
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 it reached
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
 point of
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
 which constantly stayed
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 2000. It had
sufficient
Add an article
a sufficient
show examples
 effect on
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
graph
 that had reached peaked in 2000. Comparing
thes
Correct your spelling
these
the
 graphs the
population
 size chart has reached
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 peak because of
Correct article usage
the inrecasing
show examples
inrecasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 level of
birth
 and
decreasing
Correct article usage
a decreasing
show examples
 level of
death
.
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, population, birth, rate, death with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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