IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the population size, birth rate and the death rate of England and Wales from 1700 to 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #population #size #birth #rate #death #england #wales #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart provides key
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 about the
population
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size
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,
birth
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rate
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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death
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rate
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. The units are measured in
million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph the fact that
population
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size
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 had a significant
increase
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 from 1800 to year 2000.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 1900
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birth
Correct article usage
the birth
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rate
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 and
population
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size
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 had the same
rate
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whearas
Correct your spelling
whereas
, in 1950
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population
Correct article usage
the population
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size
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show
Wrong verb form
showed
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Correct article usage
a considrable
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considrable
Correct your spelling
considerable
considerably
increase
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 and
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birth
Correct article usage
the birth
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size
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droppred
Correct your spelling
dropped
 from 30 to less than 25.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, in 1700,
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birth
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the birth
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rate
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 had the highest
rate
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 30 million and the
death
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rate
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 was between
population
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size
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 and
birth
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rate
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 less than 30 and bigger than 10 in 1750
population
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size
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Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 and
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birth
Correct article usage
the birth
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 and
death
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Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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 remained. In terms
of
Change preposition
apply
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, in 1900 the highest
rate
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 was
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population
Correct article usage
a population
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size
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 bigger than 40 million and the smallest
rate
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 was in the
death
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rate
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 and the
birth
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rate
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start
Change the form of the verb
started
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 to decrease, in 1950
population
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size
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 and
birth
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rate
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Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
Submitted by mona11omar33 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, size, birth, rate, death, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic changes
  • population growth
  • birth rate
  • death rate
  • gradual increase
  • notable decline
  • Industrial Revolution
  • public health improvements
  • significant rise
  • wartime periods
  • substantial growth
  • natural decrease in mortality
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