Some people prefer to spend their lives do you doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however think that change is always a good thing. Discuss boss this views and give your own opinion.

Numbers of humans would rather
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
make their lives by making the same items and avoiding alternation. Other part of them ,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
consider that modification is regularly a great object. I think that the area that is with its variation has got development and happiness too.
Because folks
Correct word choice
Folks
show examples
in the same family make
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
show examples
to reach their progress together through merging and
empathize
Wrong verb form
empathising
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
even bad days but behind
this
Correct word choice
hard
show examples
hardworking
Add a comma
hardworking,
show examples
there are happy days which they
waited
Wrong verb form
wait
show examples
.The reason for
this
, active human beings strive towards adjustments and the progress of their lives.
For example
, in STEVE JOB's
family
Add a comma
family,
show examples
they tried to reach high peaks through uniting in any situation and
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
they
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
some ranges of records . On the one hand, living
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the same and slow pace offers a lot of benefits for the health of humanities like without depression, stress and
over limited
Add a hyphen
over-limited
show examples
pressure in mind.
As a result
, they have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
environment and they are grateful
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
all things which they obtained. The cause for
this
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
they need independence and
calm
Correct article usage
a calm
show examples
atmosphere in their life ,
society
Correct word choice
and society
show examples
too.
For instance
, the
uzbek
Change the capitalization
Uzbek
show examples
researchers announced that citizens
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are inhabiting in the same
pace
Correct your spelling
place
show examples
are Norwegians. On the
second
Correct word choice
other
show examples
hand, progressive and creative kinds of individuals move towards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
modern
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
to utilize in daily life. Their imagination is wider than passive ones . Imaginative people explore new inventions and present them in social areas. The reason for
this
they tend to motivate others by discovering exploration which
are in
Verb problem
is
show examples
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
developing countries. To take an example, THE UZBEK TIMES NEWSPAPER announced that the most gradual
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
Japan and China across the world. By
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way of conclusion, a lot of individuals prefer to spend their time with the same activities and garments but a partial of them
are commenting
Wrong verb form
comment
show examples
against
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
statement
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
being progressive and making out time
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
new things.
Submitted by Writing9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that sentences within each paragraph are clearly related to the main idea and each other.
task achievement
Try to make your examples more detailed and specific.
task achievement
Make sure to address both views equally and provide a clear and detailed opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents an introduction and conclusion, setting the scene and summing up the discussion nicely.
task achievement
You bring in examples such as Steve Jobs' family and research about Norwegians which adds depth to your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly address both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: