IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of people who travelled by bus in the UK from 2009 to 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of people who travelled by bus in the UK from 2009 to 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #people #bus #uk #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The table compares the proportions of Britain citizens who travelled by public buses for five different reasons in the
years
, 2009, 2010, and 2011. At first glance, it is evident that the highest number of UK inhabitants travelled by bus for shopping in all the given periods.
However
, the lowest number of people travelled for work.
Overall
, there is a noticeable downward trend in the figures for shopping and work
whereas
 upward trend in the rest three categories: study, visiting
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
, and day tour. In 2009, about 65
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of UK people used buses for travelling to shopping malls, followed by a decline to 56
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2010 and 51
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2011.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, the category of work shows a similar trend,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 at 5% in 2009 and
finished
Wrong verb form
finishing
show examples
 at zero
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2011.
In contrast
, the
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 of The Great Britain people who travelled by bus
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 was at
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 (4%),
although
 it increased to 9% in the next two
years
. The same pattern has
be
Change the form of the verb
been
show examples
 observed in
Day
Correct article usage
the Day
show examples
 tour, which makes up to 7% in 2009 and 12% in the
years
, 2010 and 2011.
Finally
, the
proportions
Fix the agreement mistake
proportion
show examples
 of
vising
Verb problem
visiting
show examples
 friends
accounts
Change the verb form
account
show examples
 for about 19% in the first two
years
, which
then
 increased to 23% in 2011.
Submitted by taliyarifat on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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