The graph and table below give information about the percentage of graduates in Australia who worked full-time after university from 2004 and 2012.

The graph and table below give information about the percentage of graduates in Australia who

worked full-time after university from 2004 and 2012.
The graph shows the
percentage
of full-time workers in Australia with university degrees from 2004 to 2012, including mathematics
graduates
. The table gives information about their average
salaries
during the same period.
Overall
, the
percentage
of mathematics
graduates
working full-time decreased over the years,
while
the
percentage
of all
graduates
stayed mostly stable. At the same time, maths
graduates
earned higher
salaries
than other
graduates
after 2006. In 2004, only 60% of mathematics
graduates
were working full-time, which was much lower than 80% for all
graduates
. By 2006, the
percentage
of maths
graduates
increased sharply to 85%, higher than the general group.
However
, it steadily dropped to about 70% in 2012. The
percentage
of all
graduates
remained consistent at around 80%. In terms of
salaries
, both groups earned the same in 2004 and 2006 ($41,000 and $43,500). From 2008 onwards, maths
graduates
earned more, with their
salaries
rising to $59,000 by 2012,
while
others earned $53,000.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, graduates, salaries with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: