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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that schools should remove art classes and focus on more important subjects such as mathematics and science. Do the advantages of cutting art classes outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #schools #art #classes #focus #subjects #mathematics #science
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Nowadays, It is considerable by some people that schools should focus on important Scientific and mathematical
subjects
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 rather than
art
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classes
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 which should be removed.
However
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, there are some upsides and downsides to cancelling
art
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classes
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 . In my opinion, I maintain that its disadvantages outweigh these benefits. let's begin by looking at the advantages of removing
art
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 class. One of the main positives of
this
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 is that increased time
of
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for
show examples
 core
subjects
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to enhance
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enhances
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 students' performances in the difficult
subjects
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 which often provide skills that are required in job markets.
For example
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, in many cases, employees who work in engineering and programming fields often have a strong knowledge of math. Another advantage is that removing Creative
arts
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subjects
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 can make parents satisfied because
arts
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 many of them believe that academic excellence is based on the main
subjects
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 which are
prepared
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prepare
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for
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apply
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their children for advanced studies.
In addition
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, generally speaking, dropping
arts
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coerces
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courses
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 is a significant solution to reduce the frequent costs for materials.
Conversely
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, the negative aspects of removing
classes
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 of
arts
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 cannot be overlooked. cancel
arts
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 times in school can lead to stress for students with core
classes
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 which can be boring for them.
additionally
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, losing the balance in the education process between creativity and study which reduces the opportunities for some talents in
their
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the
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 future, if they decide to choose
this
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 field. In conclusion, the balance in education is important.
While
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 removing
art
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classes
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 does present certain advantages,
such
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 as Intensify study main topics,
i
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I
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 maintain that its disadvantages outweigh these benefits.
Submitted by Hanan on

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task achievement
Try to clarify your main points with clearer examples. For instance, when discussing the benefits of art, give a scenario or statistic showing its impact on students’ creativity and stress relief.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and transitions smoothly to the next one. This will improve the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and demonstrates an understanding of both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay, including an introduction and a conclusion, clearly outlines and sums up your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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