IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that managers are responsible for the organization’s success, while others think various features of the organization play a vital role in it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #managers #organization’s #success #features #organization #role
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One
 of the key factors for
organization
Add an article
an organization
show examples
 to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 is their managers.
However
, there are pros and cons
such
 as the various features of the
organization
 were the reason
organization
Correct article usage
the organization
show examples
 to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
.
This
 essay will focus on discussing more
dept
Correct your spelling
depth
show examples
 about
this
 topic.
Firstly
, leadership is
one
 of the
skill
Change to a plural noun
skills
show examples
that is
 needed in a company.
For example
, managers ought to lead their
members
 so that they can achieve certain
target
Fix the agreement mistake
targets
show examples
. Managers must have
this
 skill to execute the project plan properly
while
 higher-ups will be more
focusing
Wrong verb form
focused
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 on the company's direction.
Secondly
,
members
Change noun form
members'
member's
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 were
one
 of the important
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
. If it is
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 company,
human
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humans
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also
 have a limit to
handle
Wrong verb form
handling
show examples
 work so they
didn't
Verb problem
aren't
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 able to work alone.
Thus
,
members
also
 being
one
 of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 for the
organization
's success. In conclusion, all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 whether it is
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
, higher-ups, or
members
 have a responsibility to make
Correct article usage
the organization's
show examples
organization's
Change noun form
organization
show examples
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
.
Additionally
, without their roles, the project will be halted.
Submitted by rimameih on

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples and explanations to fully support your main points. This will help to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea and that these ideas are linked logically to provide a comprehensive response to the question.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, clarify the connections between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your essay.
task achievement
You have identified both leadership skills and team capabilities as important factors in organizational success, which covers both sides of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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