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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The given below pie chart shows the cultural and leisure Activities amongst boys’ and girls’. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The given below pie chart shows the cultural and leisure Activities amongst boys’ and girls’. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#leisure #activities #boys’ #girls’ #summarise #information #features
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The pie charts demonstrate the survey's
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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 of
children
Change noun form
children's
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 academic and leisure activities .
Overall
Linking Words
, the most common
activite
Correct your spelling
activity
activities
 that boys usually do is computer games
While
Linking Words
 girls prefer dancing. Based on the pie charts, The biggest percentage of
boys
Change noun form
boys'
boy's
show examples
 activities is 34% in general .
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage of basketball was nearly as double
Correct pronoun usage
that as
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as
Change preposition
of
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 soccer with 26%.
In addition
Linking Words
, listening to music and skateboarding was approximately the same with 10%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, reading was the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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percenatage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
boys
Change noun form
boys'
boy's
show examples
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 with 2%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, dancing has the highest percentage of girl activities with 27%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, reading came second as
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 popular
activite
Correct your spelling
activity
activities
 for
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, computer
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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 and netball were 16% and 15%
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
. Gimnastic and listening to music were approximately the same with 10%.
Submitted by saraalmarzog5 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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