IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Problem solution Some people find it difficult to manage their money. How could the government help prevent debt problems and support such people? Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #money #government #debt #support
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Currently, the increasing number
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 poverty rates is becoming a problem.
However
,
this
 situation is not triggered because of low economic factors, but it occurs
due to
 the lack of knowledge in managing
money
.
Therefore
, in
this
 essay, I will present some solutions on how the
government
 can help people to avoid debt problems and support them in certain ways.
Firstly
, it can be effective if the
government
 provide financial education. The
government
 can ask the experts in finance and pay them to share their knowledge with the public through seminars about managing
money
. Of course, a disadvantage of
this
 is that not everyone wants to join the program, but if funds are provided by the
government
, it would not be a problem and can bring more benefits. Another possible solution is that it might be effective if the
government
 make an awareness campaign. They can put it on social media and billboards so that young people and the elderly will see it. Unless an awareness campaign is held, they will not be aware of managing their
money
 well. In conclusion, providing financial education and a campaign is the easiest way that the
government
 can do to make people realize the importance of
money
 management in the long run for better living conditions.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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relevant specific examples
Consider providing more detailed examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, how financial education has helped in other contexts.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain coherence.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your argument well.
complete response
You address the prompt well by providing relevant solutions that the government can implement.
logical structure
The essay has a logical flow from one part to another, making it easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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