IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the impacts on society and families?

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These days, many people decide that they will have
children
Use synonyms
 later in their life rather than having a
child
Use synonyms
 after marriage. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will argue about why young people
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not interested
to have
Change preposition
in having
show examples
 a baby at their early stage and bad impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society
as well as
Linking Words
 family members. Nowadays, after
marriage
Add a comma
marriage,
show examples
 young couple thinks that, if they have a baby recently
then
Linking Words
 they might face
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
show examples
 crisis in future. So, they decide not to have any
children
Use synonyms
 too early.
For example
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, a graduated student who just got his first job recently and got married at the same time.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, he started saving for his future
child
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, he and his wife
thinks
Change the verb form
think
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 that, after saving a good amount of money they can have a kid.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they think it wasn't a perfect time to have a baby at that early stage of their life and they
also
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 consider it as a failure
due to
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 not
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 enough quality education to their
children
Use synonyms
 if a
children
Use synonyms
 born early at that moment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
newlyweds
Correct article usage
a newlyweds
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 mentality could bring imbalance in the society or a family, because when a parents get so older than his
child
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,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
Use synonyms
children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
show examples
 might not get a decent education by the family and
as a result
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 parents might lose control over their
children
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.
For instance
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, Andrew was a government employee he married early at the
age
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 of 22 and didn't wish to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 at that point.
After
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20 years later he decided to have one, at
Linking Words
firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
 he was so happy about his newborn
child
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 but after
another
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
20 years later his
son
Change noun form
son's
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 touched adolescence and his son
chosen
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 a bad path for his life and became a drug addict. At that time Andrew was 62 years old and he couldn't teach him a lesson for it
due to
Linking Words
 his
age
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 restrictions. In conclusion,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 of modern technology, people lost their
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
 and became so unclear about their future.
Newlywed
Replace the word
Newlyweds
show examples
 cannot decide whether they should have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 or not and
consequently
Linking Words
 they
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their control over
Use synonyms
children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
Use synonyms
child's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 do not listen to their parents and become heartless at some point.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas. Try to make smoother transitions from one idea to another by using linking words or phrases.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate further on points to strengthen your argument. This will help to better illustrate your ideas and make them more convincing.
Task Achievement
Make sure to maintain a balanced discussion by equally addressing all parts of the question. Spend sufficient time discussing both reasons and impacts to offer a well-rounded response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly outline and summarize the main points, providing a coherent framework for the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt by identifying reasons and discussing impacts on society and families.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career advancement
  • professional stability
  • medical advancements
  • individualism
  • personal fulfillment
  • financial stability
  • demographic shifts
  • reproductive technologies
  • emotional maturity
  • birth rates
  • aging population
What to do next:
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