Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?
It is known that more than one
species
of animals
is on its way to extinction, Fix the agreement mistake
animal
moreover
, it seems that others may soon face the same problem
. In my opinion, causes that are leading to the extinction of many species
of animals can be found in humans
practices. Change the noun form
human
However
, governmets
can manage the Correct your spelling
governments
problem
by increasing taxes on these activities.
Humans
activities are Change the noun form
Human
alterating
the world's equilibrium. In the Correct your spelling
altering
alternating
last
century, in order to secure enough food for a growing population, humans started to intensify many practices, like fishing, agriculture and hunting. It is proved that these kinds of activities caused a dramatically
reduction in the Change the adverb
dramatic
number
of some species
. To give an example, in the late 1990s
the Add a comma
1990s,
number
of cods
Correct your spelling
codes
in
the East Change preposition
on
coast
of North America saw a rapid and dramatic reduction Capitalize word
Coast
due to
the high number
of tons catched
every year. It is estimated that almost a 15-year period of strictly prohibited fishing is necessary to return Correct your spelling
caught
at
the same conditions of Change preposition
to
pre 1990
.
Add a hyphen
pre-1990
On the other hand
, there are measures that can be taken in order to address this
problem
. I believe that governments should cooperate and create new taxes or directly forbid those activties
that put some Correct your spelling
activities
species
in real danger, even if this
could cause a reduction in the number
of working people. Regarding the North America
Replace the word
American
cods
Correct your spelling
code
codes
problem
, the Canadian government was blamed for not try
to stop the Change the verb form
trying
problem
as soon as possible because they were worried of
the possibility of an increase in unemployment. But Change preposition
about
this
has only contributed to increasing the problem
.
In conclusion, I think that the danger of species
extinction should be of primary concern for governments and they should take measures immediately.Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that all parts of the question are addressed in a balanced way. The essay focuses on the human causes of animal extinction and suggests taxation as a solution, but could elaborate more on other possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. Currently, the ideas flow well, but more varied conjunctions could add to the clarity.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the issue of animal extinction and the role of human activities.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Effective use of specific examples, like the North American cods, which strengthens the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.